Bits of My Life

I hate this feeling

2008-01-10T02:41:00.000+10:00

I don't understand why people don't listen to what I say.

I don't understand why people can't trust what I say.

When I say it doesn't work that way, it really doesn't work that way.

When I say it can be done better that way, it really can be done better that way.

When I say I'm not going behind your back, I really am not going behind your back.

Why is it so hard to trust me?

Why won't you listen to me?

Am I really that stupid?

Work Stress!!

2007-09-04T23:52:00.000+10:00

I'm stressed at work.

I have too much task in hand till I didn't know which came 1st.

There are too many places to be at once and too many people asking for me.

There are too many responsibilities to bear and no one is willing to lighten that burden.

A part of me wished I could just care less.

For many times, I have wished I could split into 2 or 3 person.

And a part of me wished that I could just walk out and end this.

Lonely

2007-07-10T15:51:00.000+10:00

I am in need of a best friend.

I feel that I don't have anyone I could share my life with...

well, leave out my bf for now.

But doesn't everyone have some close girlfriends?.... I loved having someone that I could chit chat with, share every thought with and laugh about everything. Go shopping with, and say out whatever that's on our minds.

But it seems that I can't click with anyone around me anymore. My best friends moved far away from me and everyone else seem so far away. People who were once close seems different now, too, busy with their own lives. And I'm lost.

Have I been so out of touch? Have I been so selfish about my personal time and not spend enough time? Or am I becoming easily irritated? Did I become more and more picky on friends? Or am I becoming weird? Is there something wrong with me?

Sometimes, even though I try to fit in, I still feel that I'm being left out. I feel that maybe they didn't like me. Maybe I'm just an outsider. Maybe I'm not welcomed.

Someone once told me, they felt that I'm quite restricted. Maybe that could be the reason. Maybe I pushed them away. Maybe I've built up an invisible wall around me that no one could come close. A wall that I myself didn't notice. A wall that has caused me my loneliness....

Maybe I just need to relax. Maybe I just need to loosen up...

And hopefully soon, I can have my best friends back...

Him

2007-02-04T16:50:00.000+10:00

I was looking through some of my old files and folders today... just doing some cleanups and organizing. I stumbled upon a file I saved a long time ago. It was part of a conversation I had with a friend about what I look for in a boyfriend. I don't quite remember why I saved it, maybe trying to remind myself of what I wanted or who I used to be. But now I'm glad I did.

...
wysun_53: I want someone who loves me for who I am
wysun_53: someone who can cheer me up when I'm down
wysun_53: sense of humour
wysun_53: romantic...
wysun_53: caring, helpful, friendly
wysun_53: humble... with self confidence...
wysun_53: makes me feel important
wysun_53: doesn't care much about appearance and yet is well presentable
wysun_53: have matured thinking and reasons with me till i understand... and till we meet an agreement
wysun_53: respects me for my decisions
wysun_53: doesn't smoke
wysun_53: can drink.. but not drunk... and lets me get drunk when i want to... and take care of me in that situation
friend: hehe.. thats an impressive list....
wysun_53: gentleman
...

Looking at this. I'd say I'm pretty demanding! And probably such person might never even exist! At least not for me...

But I found him...

And I love him.

Happy Birthday Elsie!

2006-07-02T03:10:00.000+10:00

Happy birthday to my friend, Elsie! 30th of June was her 24th birthday! Ops... sorry to have announced it to the world hehe! Well, anyway when you're with her, you won't feel that she's 24 already. She's still the chirpy, funny, always-excited girl, who shrieks at every exciting thing, and laughs loudly at every funny joke, compared to the old, grumpy me. And God I'm even younger than her! Must really get the remedy off her as how to run away from aging! haha! urgh! I have dark under circles already. Maybe I should get extra eye treatment during my next facial visit. :) .... *imagining money flying out the window* :(

Ever since Elsie changed her job and started working in.... somewhere in between Seremban and Nilai, I seldom got the chance to meet up with her. She goes home to somewhere in Shah Alam during the weekends and seldom comes down to KL anymore! :( But anyway, Fei and I went out with her last night, for dinner and chats, but ended up watching football at a mamak. And I watched my 1st football match during this year's World Cup event. :P

Well, you can't exactly blame me, I don't really know about football and what are the skills that involved in this game, other than the skill that players have to act in an agony of pain rolling on the floor when tripped or smacked by another player. hehe... I started off thinking Brazil was either the blue or white shirt team but soon found out that Brazil wasn't even playing in the game. heh... Hmm... Both Elsie and Fei, experts in football, had to explain to me what the game was about during the start of the game. And I'm proud to be able to say now that I know what does 4-4-2 means, how the ball could turn like shaolin soccer, and which angle of the field that when defending team kick the ball out of the field so that opponents don't get to kick from the corner of the field. Hmm... I'm not sure if you get what I'm saying but, its complicated.

Its a great game at a great atmosphere especially when Argentina and Germany had a tie 1-1 during the game and had to proceed to the penalty kicks. Most of the other customers in mamak supported Germany, don't know why, since they weren't really that good actually, while I supported Argentina, don't know why, since they don't really have good looking players. And everyone oohhed and ahhed whenever the player striked a goal or nearly did, which I happily joined in the fun :P

It was during the 1st goal that Argentina made, that suddenly a camera man and a guy holding a mic with rtm logo on it, came by to our table and asked if they could do an interview with us! (We already noticed them going around asking for other interviews but I was silently praying that they wouldn't stop at our table) They interviewed Fei and Elsie seperately, asking them question of why they come to mamak to watch the World Cup, how did they like the atmosphere and the sorts, while I tried to hide my laughters behind! haha! The guy asked Elsie why she came to this mamak for football, and she said her driver (Fei) brought her to it and thus she's there! hahahaha! Omg, that was so hilarious! haha! He wanted to interview me, but I had violently shaked my hands and head to say no and luckily he let me go and went off to prey for another victim. *pheww!*

The interview is going to be on TV at 1pm news today! But none of us would be watching it... since I'm going out with Elsie anyway. Too bad... haha!

As most of you should know by now. Argentine lost the game during the penalty kicks. They missed 2 out of 4 kicks, while Germany sent the ball straight into the goal every time without fail. Too bad for them even though I thought they played quite well during the game. Every one was happy that Germany won, except a guy sitting in front of us who supported Argentina as well, and that Elsie thought he was cute heehe!

Watching football is fun. And I really did enjoy it, but I still wouldn't really switch on the tv just to watch a bunch of guys running around with the ball. I really hope Elsie enjoyed it too! Happy birthday again girl! Muacks! ;)

Negative post

2006-06-14T23:10:00.000+10:00

Wow, its been so long since I've really blogged. I don't even know how to start. Too many things that I really want to write down. But yet there are too many things I dare not to. I'd really want to share my problems to the world, have people to comment and give me advice. But ironically I'm afraid to open up myself to the world. I could still remember clearly what a friend had once said, "Don't write all your problems on your blog, it shows your negative sides and people may judge you according to that". I think that's mainly the reason why I hadn't been blogging for the past few months (other than the fact that I'm lazy and busier now).

I know I shouldn't be blogging a negatively sad posts. But I am desperate for a place of refuge. Living in a fast-paced life, I find it difficult to find a true friend and have a heart to heart session... someone I could really trust, someone who is willing to spend time and sit with me for hours, until I am ready to open up to you... Even if friends have the heart to share, time seldom make way. I know, if you're one of my closer friends, maybe you would think, "What is so hard about it? You could always tell me about it". But believe me, words don't come easy for me. And anyway, who likes a sulking face? I strive hard to be the cheerful little girl I once was... with the now smudged 'happy go lucky' motto I carry around.

Its really unhealthy I know. I could feel these negative feelings reflecting on my life. I force a smile every once in a while. I feel fake. I let my temper take lead sometimes at home or when I'm driving (you'd be glad that I'm not tailing your car). I'm getting tired of socializing. I'm becoming more ignorant. I feel older. I feel less confident. Sadly, I feel less motivated at work. I had even thought of going to meet a psychiatrist. But seriously, am I really that sick? RAHH!! *pulls hair* ... Oops! *fixes hair* ... No, I'm not crazy, yet...

I think all I need is a break. A break from everything. A time for me to just relax my mind. Free of stress, free of work, free from peer pressure, free of people, free from problems... free...

However, the more I shy away from people, the more I am saddened by the feeling that I'm beginning to neglect the friendship between us. I'm that self-centred bitch who only have time for herself, that ignores the fact that our friendship needs nurturing as well. Is this where we learn about balancing? Between time for ourselves and time for others? Sadly, time never seem to be enough. Never ever...

hmm...

Well, its time for me to go now, till my next post. Time for me to think about my life and what to do with it. Time for me to stop mourning about the past and strive for a happier future. Thank you all for spending time to read through my rant.... I'm feeling much better now. May you have a beautiful future as well.

Good night.

Greece (Final part!..... finally :P)

2006-05-28T03:17:00.000+10:00

Day 6 (15th of April)

After breakfast, we dashed off to begin our sight seeing again. The place we're about to visit today is a truly amazing one. We're going to visit 2 monasteries on top of the gigantic rocks, Meteora.

See if you can spot 3 monasteries in the picture above! :P And in the picture below, beside my sister, there's this big hole in the rock. That's the prison for monks who lived in the monasteries. Monks who wanted to think over his wrongdoings or maybe receive the word of God will climb and stay in that hole for a long time. The hole is actually quite high and the way there is very steep. So if they slip and fall, that's be the end for them la.

Its really quite amazing how they could build these on top of these rocks.

The 1st monastery, Varlaam.

Before the stairs and walkway were built, they use to lift things up from the bottom using a lift from the balcony. They lift up food, building materials and even human!

Girls are not allowed to wear pants into the monasteries. They failed to inform us earlier to bring skirts, so we had to wear some wrap-around skirts provided by them.

Inside the monastery, the walls were painted with beautiful pictures all over - Jesus' picture, the judgement day and some other famous ones too. But we weren't allowed any photo shots. Too bad!

Our next stop, Holy Monastery of Saint Stephen.

More paintings inside. No photos allowed again. Well, we got at least a bit.

That's all for Meteora Monastery. We headed down, and journeyed our way back to Athens. A statue of Leonidas on the way to remember his bravery during war times.

That night we went up some hill (argh! I forgot its name!) overlooking Athens. It was beautiful. And we could see Acropolis far away.

Day 7 (16th of April)

Its cruising day! We visited 3 islands today boarding on Anna Maru.

A nice comfy cruise ship. Well, quite crowded too.

Our 1st stop island is Paros. We were only given 30 minutes on this island. Pretty short for some curious tourist I would say, but the purpose was to let us go up to its clock tower for the views.

Pretty nice heh.

After that, we had lunch on board and they had some stage performance. There were greek dance and greek music... pretty entertaining. The greek singer even sang 2 mandarin songs! That, certainly impressed all chinese on board.

Our next stop was Mikonos. A very beautiful town, with lots of cute cats! Yeah, cats. I don't know why, but there are just so many cats around, and they are really cute, fluffy and cuddly! Some sitting around, some playing and chasing each other around the harbour, some sleeping on couches and even flower pots! Oo... I love this place :D

Other than cats, donkeys are also a common animal around here. Not stray donkeys of course :P They use donkeys as transportation.

The islands are famous for the beauty of the buildings. There's a beauty in the way they paint them, in the narrow lanes. Indescribable.

They were selling these pictures everywhere. I really wanted to get one for myself. But they're just expensive! Forget it, I'll just snap a photo of it! :P

The 3rd island is more commercialized, more shops, more people. We were to spend one and a half hours here. The cruise also offers sight seeing packages on the island. However, we decided on it too late, and the tour was already fulling booked. So we just went around on our own. The island was famous for their pistachio nuts, and of course, we went to scout around for the cheapest pistachio nuts around town.... Typical Malaysian chinese huh.

We got off the cruise and headed straight for dinner... Chinese food, requested by most of our group members, coz too sick of Greek food! haha :P Well, can't blame us, we had that for the past 5 days.

We went back to stay at Hotel Ariston and mom fell sick :( She caught Greece flu! Poor thing.

Day 8 (17th of April)

Today we will head home! :( Head back to work... :(( The trip seemed so short now. Too short!

But before that, we visited around Athens, the tour we missed on day 1. The Olympic stadium in Athens!

On the bus ride, we saw...

A non-moving guard that stands outside the House of Parliament. Too bad we didn't get to snap photos with them or disturb them :P

Nice buildings...

Our next stop would be the long awaited Acropolis! In Greek, 'acro' means top and 'polis' means city. So Acropolis basically meant 'on top of the city'. Unfortunately, when we arrived, they were in the process of restoring the buildings. So there are quite a lot of construction frames around. Not exactly a very pretty sight la.

I'm touching the Temple of Athina!

A theatre beside the temple.

And we could see the remains of Temple of Zeus not far away.

Erechtheion, a building beside Temple of Athina, which was built for Goddess worshipping.

Well, a picture of how Acropolis looks like now from above. Very nice. Very expensive. *click* I have the picture now! hehe

This is how Acropolis is suppose to be.

We headed down to town to do some last minute shopping, and had our lunch at a Greece famous fast food chain, Goodys. Its not bad at all. They should open a chain here :P

And that's the end of our trip! :( I'll miss Greece....

Hmm.. where shall I go next? kekeke...

Greece Trip (Part 2)

2006-05-02T20:40:00.000+10:00

Day 4 (13th of April)

Look at that scenery! Don't you just love spring? Beautiful trees, lovely weather... This was actually taken in the ancient Olympic Stadium in Olympia (not Athens), our 1st destination that day.

This very place is where the first Olympic games ever started. Olympic games, at ancient times are only for Greek men. No women were ever allow to take part or even step into the stadium. Why? That's because all men at the games were supposed to be naked! Ew... men are weird.

There are lots of beliefs and myths in Greek history, therefore, there are temples in most of the places that we visited. In this Olympic stadium, they have a huge temple of Zeus. Again, due to earthquakes, war and flood, its pretty much broken down now. Well... out of more than 20 columns, they only did restore one.

Isn't that huge compared to the tiny me??

And my sister is actually holding it! Gasp!

This is how it looks like when the columns fall to the ground. That shows us how its actually been made up too.

In the photo above, its the runway.... or whatever its called :P They don't have an oval-shape runway like what we have nowadays. The line you see behind us, its the starting line. One interesting thing is, our tour guide told us that in ancient times, they don't had the tradition to lit any Olympic games fire before the game. It was during the modern Olympic games that they started doing it.

Next, we headed down to the Olympic museum where they preserved most of the monuments. Photos without camera flash were allowed, however, they don't allow us to pose in front of the camera with the monument.... well... with no apparent reason it seems. A very weird rule indeed. Even our tour guide who didn't agree with it, went on to scold the museum people. haha.. our tour guide is cool.

Then, we went on to food. Greek food, I wouldn't say I like it that much actually. Their normal course meal would always have Greek salad with Olive oil and vinegar. For starters, they would have musaka (eggplant, mince meat and cream), cheese pie or spinach pie which are all quite creamy and slimy.

Their main course meal would usually be Kebab (pork on a skew), or grilled chicken, which can be quite dry, with vege fried rice as a side dish. In our 9 day trip, we were served this meal for more than 5 times! The truth is, most of us are pretty glad that we won't be having it anymore.

We drove on.... for another 5 hours.... On the way...

We stopped near this huge church for a cup of hot chocolate. hmm~~ *thumbs up* for both the smooth creamy hot chocolate and the church.

A fortress at the Town of Nafpactos.

Ahh~ finally after the long bus ride, we arrived at our destination! A nice little town called Delphi where we stayed the night at a very nice Hotel, in an attic room with sky view! hehe! Ain't that cool?!

I really liked Delphi. This town, located halfway up the mountains, has a very cooling temperature. Serene and peaceful, it has a beautiful view too.

The sky is so clear, its filled with stars at night. The people here are friendly too! And not to mention, Greeks are mostly good looking! :P

Day 5 (14th of April)

Today, our main agenda is to visit the Temple of Apollo. So we packed our luggage early in the morning and left our nice little attic room. hmmm... I'll miss it.

First, we went to the museum where they preserved all the statues and monuments.

Here, we could see that some of their statues actually looked like the sphinx or mummy. I don't know about you, but it gave me the Scorpian King kinda feel. I know I watched too much tv. Anyway tour guide said that's actually because sometime in history, some Egyptians migrated to Greece and brought along their art.

This is our tour guide, a very knowledgable person. He's an artist actually, working only part time as a tour guide.

And this is where we're heading to later. The temple of Apollo had a myth. It was said that long long time ago, there hid a snake in a bush which kills anything that passes its way. One day Apollo's mother went to rest near the bush and was attacked by the snake. Upon hearing the screams of his mother, he came and slew the snake. And that's the foundation where temple of Apollo is built on.

In this place, other than just worshipping Apollo, they held other events too. They have a theatre and a stadium, too. The picture above shows one of the treasury that had been restored. People from different areas that came to take part in the games brought along treasures and gifts, and places it at their respective treasuries.

That's temple of Apollo behind us. And yes, that's all that's left.

That's the theatre behind me.

Not far away from the temple of Apollo, this is where atheletes do their training. Overlooking the lush scenery.... Just lovely!

After yet another Kebab meal, we journey on for another 5 hours drive to our next stop for the night, Kalambaka, a small town situated at the foot of Meteora, gigantic rocks.

Although tired from the bus ride, we still came out for a walk around town. The amazing thing about these rocks, people here actually believed that these rocks are meteors from long long time ago, hence its name, Meteora. History or myth? We have no idea.

Take a look at in between my sister's fingers. That's a monastery built on top of the rocks! That's where we're going to visit the next day. haha.. if you can't really see it, no worries, don't tire your eyes, there are more photos coming up!

We went on to explore the town, bought some Greece chocolates and snap some photos. Although the town was quite small, it is quite happening with quite a number of pubs around. Before going back to our hotel, we stopped by at an ice cream shop for Greek yoghurt, which my sister claimed was really good.

Now, doesn't that make your mouth watery? :P~

Greece Trip (Part 1)

2006-04-22T02:36:00.000+10:00

2 weeks ago, it was busy busy busy... write up that document, finish some reports, troubleshooting, meetings.... bah! can't take it anymore! And so, I went for a holiday in Greece with my family :P Actually it was that my mom's friends wanted to go... so we just kindda follow along.

Day 1 (11th of April 2006)

Flight was at 4.15pm, so that morning, I woke up really early to pack. No alarm clocks, nobody woke me up, I just popped right out of bed. hehe... I wish that happens during working days... instead of the usual tossing and turning for 30 minutes before i drag myself to the bathroom. And so, taxi came at 1pm, we checked in our luggage and had lunch at KLIA McDs with mom's friends.

We took Gulf Air. And had to transit in Bahrain for a night. Well, with budget tours like these, I think they booked cheap flights for us too. I feel a little weird having to take this flight. The people speak in arab. And most of the time, they sounded like praying. We were taken to a hotel called Golden Tulip for the night, opposite Sheraton Hotel. Oh well, its good enough :P

Day 2 (12th of April)

Woke up pretty early in the morning, took our breaky, and the tour guide brought us around for some sight seeing before heading to the airport. We went and snap some shots at a mosque too. Nice....

Then upon arriving at the airport, we found out that the flight would be delayed for 1.5 hours! That really messed up our schedule and some of our activity in Athens had to be postponed to a later freetime. And that also left us to wander around in the airport for 1.5 hours.

Athens (Athina in greek), the capital of Greece, is named after an ancient Greek Goddess. A nice busy town with traffic jam at most of the streets. We arrived during spring season, so the temperature was just lovely. Here, people drive on the opposite side. So, we had to constantly remind outselves to watch out for cars on the left side 1st before crossing. We stayed in a modern, small hotel called Ariston (probably named after Aristotle? *shrug*) Here's the view from our hotel.

That night, we went for a bus ride around Athens to see the beautiful night lights. Too bad the bus didn't stop to let us snap some photos, and our camera isn't really good enough to get a good picture. But yeah, it was simply beeaautiful!

We went for dinner at a Tavern. A happening place with dancing and singing on stage until midnight. They had traditional Greek dance and belly dancing, and at some point of time, they even dragged some of my tour group members to dance on stage! Luckily I wasn't involved :P The food, simply yummy!

And that was the end of day 2. Slumber time till our real adventure.... 4 day Classical tour to many more interesting places.

Day 3 (13th of April)

We had an early start of the day, with barely enough sleep. But well, we always wanna make the most of our time and visit more places right. So I can't really complain. We packed our luggages and left our hotel at 7.30am.

The journey started with the coach driving by the coastal road and we enjoyed many beautiful scenery. The sky so blue, and the water so clear! Lovely Lovely.... We saw some fish farms along the way too.

Our 1st stop - Corinth Canal, a man-made river so deep and large, that even large ships can go through it. Really amazing. Too bad we didn't get to witness any ships going through it. For this, I didn't get any shot of myself with the canal. Why? The cold wind was blowing very strongly and the pathway for photoshots was pretty narrow. And in the end, my mom took a photo of me, without the canal. Great.

After that we stepped into the souvenir shop and saw some cute liquor bottles, Ouzo. This Greek liquor contains 46% alchohol and tastes somewhat similar to medicine. :P Well, not to my liking anyway. But I liked the bottle.

Then we drove on to the Theatre of Epidauros. We visited the Museum 1st. That's where we saw all the ancient statues and craftings.

You realize that all the statues in the photo had neither head nor arms? That's because these body statues were made 1st without representing anyone. Only when they want a statue of a particular person, then they would carve and add in the head and arms. hmm... would be nice to have one of my own... kekkeek

The Theatre of Epidauros. It was built sometime between 4th and 2nd century BC. The seats and steps were mostly broken now. And this theatre overlooks a beautiful scenery.

Next, we headed off to Mycenae and visited the Tomb of Agamemnon and his palace. The entrance to the tomb was pretty cool, which gave a kind of ancient mysterious feel. I was half expecting to see some mummy tombs or some statues. But too bad... on the inside, it was empty.

Agamemnon's palace was pretty much broken down now. Our tour guide explained that it was mainly due to war at those times, and earthquakes.

This picture of my mom and sis was taken at the entrance of Agamemnon's palace. And our tour guide... on the far right. You see the large block of rocks used to build this entrance? It was believed that it was built by giants! That's because the rocks are so huge they couldn't possibly be lifted up by humans! And it was build so many centuries ago, they couldn't possibly have the technology good enough to lift them up! Do you believe it? Real history or is it just a myth? OO... spooky. Anyway this is pretty much what's left of Agamemnon's palace.

We went to a nearby souvenir shop and saw some pretty cool statues. These are duplicates of course. Statue of Venus and Hercules.

Then we headed off to Olympia where we stayed for the night. Our hotel was called New Olympia, but it wasn't new at all. The lifts were the manual type, where we have to open the lift doors outselves. Really old and freaky. Our rooms were so old as well, with no tv, creaky bed, and our bathroom door just doesn't close! Oh man, Thank God we're just staying here for one night.

(To be continued)

Melaka Trip

2006-03-25T18:32:00.000+10:00

About 2 weeks ago, my colleagues organized a little trip to Melaka. We were lucky to have the organizer (claimed as Land Asia Agent) who was familiar with Melaka/Seremban and made our trip fun and enjoyable! He packed our 2 day schedule with nearly 20 places to go. But of course in the end we just went to a few of them according to everyone's preference.

Our 1st stop in Melaka was FOOD :P~ Let me present to you, Melaka's famous chicken rice ball...

Actually I think the chicken rice ball was just ok. Nothing special. But the chicken was really good. Oh man, this picture alone is enough to make my mouth watery! This shop was near Christ Church Melaka. And that's where we went next...

The gang...

Then we met this friendly uncle who's willing to let us take some pictures with his trishaw.

And of course we went to A Famosa

and Jonker street where I finally bought my Mahjong set (Muahahah! Nono I'm not a gambler.)

Besides that, we went to St John Fort and Mini Malaysia too. My mom told me she brought me there b4.. but I just couldn't recall. Oh well, at least now I'm sure I have been there! :)

Fantree for fantree club members!

Tag along!

2006-03-12T02:48:00.000+10:00

I am just surfing around... reading through updates from friends' blogs... and am shocked to see that I'm being tagged! :P Well, here goes...

4 jobs you’ve had in your life

• Factory worker at SummerGrace, my aunts shop
• Telemarketeer at Sirius Communications Berhad
• Management Trainee at DKSH CSSC
• Network Specialist at DKSH CSSC

4 movies you could watch over and over.

• Matrix 1 (I've watched this more than 30 times. The coolest movie ever!)
• Notebook (Watched this more than 10 times. The most romantic and touching movie)
• Austin Powers 1 (Funny funny funny!!)
• Speed 1 (Great action packed and Keanu is just awesome!)

4 TV shows you love to watch

• Lost
• CSI : Crime Scene Investigation
• CSI : Miami
• CSI : New York

4 TV shows you loved to watch

• X-Files
• Under One Roof
• Prince of Bellair
• Phua Chu Kang

4 places you’ve lived

• Seputeh, KL
• Toowong, Brisbane
• Spring Hill, Brisbane
• Eight Mile Plains, Brisbane

4 places you’ve been on vacation to

• Japan
• Hong Kong
• China
• Australia

4 places you would rather be

• Shopping with Lorraine at Hong Kong
• Snorkeling or diving at Great Barrier Reef, Australia
• Touring around New Zealand with my friends there
• Winter in UK

4 of your favourite food

• Imbi siu kai yik! (grilled chicken wing)
• Chu yuk fun (Pork noodle) at Brickfields
• Claypot loh shu fun at Serdang
• Cheese crab with mantau at Tropicana

4 websites you visit daily

• www.yahoo.com
• www.google.com
• www.blogspot.com
• www.torrentspy.com

4 tagged

• Eva
• Benjamin
• WaiLeng
• Edna

Secrets

2006-03-11T19:45:00.000+10:00

We all have our own hidden sides. Be it a bad habit, or some bad things you did or thought about. We all have them, don't we?

I have to admit, that makes up a part of my life. Afraid of how people might look at me. Afraid of what they would say about me...... Ironically, as much as I am afraid to let people know of my secrets, I am curious to know who would be able to accept them.

Secrets. How much I hate to have them, how much I hate to keep them. Everyday it pulls me away from my close friends. Causes me to lie or shy away if they ask. Think about it. How could you lie to your close friends? Would they be considered as close friends if they are close friends based on lies? When they don't even know the real you? When I keep my friends out, I couldn't even share the pain or the happiness I gain from it. Such a horrible feeling. Its totally not worth it.

Nevertheless, I'm still doing it.

Tired mind

2006-03-01T22:35:00.000+10:00

I'm tired. I feel sleepy. And yet... I'm still at my work place. What time is it now? 8.41pm to be exact! Urgh.. I have to stay back late to wait for my boss to finish his meeting to discuss something with him about an equipment with a vendor... blah blah blah... I know I shouldn't be complaining... As the vendor told me just now, "Its a good opportunity to learn something new!" But..... but.. but.... Somehow I'm just not so anxious about it.

Recently my senior had been telling me about his work and interview experiences. I guess its suppose to prepare and push me to learn new things. But, I don't know, maybe its the way he said it, he's actually freaking me out! Telling me how difficult it is to get a job outside, what kind of technical questions they ask in interviews, questions about technology I haven't even heard about before! I know I should be constantly upgrading my knowledge. But now, it seems that the network field is too large for me to grasp.

Another colleague was telling me that he's doing a course in 1 month, that normally take people to do in a year! Every morning he comes to office at 4am just to get a quiet space to study! And now, he's getting credited for his efforts.

Yeah, no pain no gain right? I would need to work hard to show my qualities to my boss, constantly upgrade myself, 'do cow do horse' in hopes to meet his expectations and hope for increment.

Well, don't get me wrong. I still love my job alot. I love networking. Plus my company is sending me to a training next week! Woohoo!

But sometimes I'm thinking... is networking the thing for me? Damn! I'm so fickle minded!

Love and Tears

2006-02-08T13:05:00.000+10:00

Yeah I'm back. I know I've been away for too long. And I know you'd hate me for that. Life at work took most of my time away. But really, I kinda gave myself a break from blogging. This time, I think I'm back because I need some break from my work life... A switch is good.

Extracted from swagato, whom extracted from someplace else.

Two little teardrops were floating down the river of life.
One drop said to the other, "I am the teardrop of a person who loved someon and lost in love." Who are you? "Well, I am the teardrop of the love who won the person." Love is very strange. Love is unconditional commitment to an imperfect individual. You need it but when you love, it's like destining yourself for pain. You become addicted and dependent on the person. You become strong and at the same time, you open yourself up to being hurt. Love can make you bear any kind of pain and any kind of sacrifice. It can also make you feel stupid and act stupidly.
Sometimes when you love and end up giving so much of yourself, subconciously you only discover how much you've given when the person you love hurts you or has to say goodbye. Then you realize, an important part of yourself is already with that person. It goes away when he or she leaves and you are left with cries. Tears are bound to shed from your eyes no matter how you force yourself to keep them in. Most teardrops ever shed on this earth have been for love or lack of it. When tears dry, a silent loss sticks to your heart for a long, long time. Well, that's what you get for caring so much about someone. But how can you regret it? To give yourself freely and lovingly is the most beautiful thing you can do. Loving makes you real. Loving also makes you cry. Never regret the ones you loved in life.
Never regret all the beautiful people u fell in love. Always smile for the future holding to your present wishing the best for your loved ones in ur life.

I couldn't agree more.

Beware of the con man

2005-11-13T23:55:00.000+10:00

Have you received many email warnings about how people might try to steal things from you? Asks you to be careful not to be conned into something? Well, This is my version of a warning.

Today afternoon, as usual I was heading to California Fitness in Mid Valley for my exercise. Already heated up by the long wait for a car park space. I could have gotten into gym an hour earlier and avoided this incident. Anyway, when I was on my way upstairs, a guy came to approach me. Somehow I felt that its not because of my looks! ehem! hehe :P

The guy spoke in mandarin. And this is the translated version.

Guy: Excuse me. I'm new here and I'm from Taiwan. My handphone just ran out of battery and I hope that you could help me.

Me: Uh huh...

Guy: I need to call my girlfriend. I have no idea where she is. But my phone ran out of battery so I couldn't contact her. Can I borrow your phone so that I can call her?

Me: Okay...

Guy: Oh You are so kind, I'll make sure I buy you a treat later.

Well, I thought, no harm showing him some kindness of a Malaysian and lend him some help. I took out my phone, I keyed in the number he told me to and its an overseas number. Great, this time my credit going to habis liao. OK fine, I waited the other side to pick up. And let him talk to his girlfriend. I don't feel good about letting him have my phone. So I eyed him closely. I heard him say something like his girlfriend is on the 3rd floor and he promised to go and look for her. Then he handed my phone back to me, despite my worries of his sprinting off with my phone.

We went on upstairs... since gym is upstairs.... then suddenly he stopped and turn to me.

Guy: Can you borrow your phone to me again? Well, my girlfriend is from Hong Kong and she's the jealous type. She doesn't like to see me with another girl. So can I take your phone with me until I find her?

Me: HUH? I can go with you until you find her la.

Guy: No no... You can wait for me here and when I find her I will come back and look for you. Here, you can take my phone. I will surely come back for it.

He handed me his Nokia phone. And then I felt it. It was such a light phone! I think it could probably be an empty phone with nothing inside, like the model phone they have in phone shops. I pushed the phone back to him.

Me: No need la. You said your girlfriend is on the 3rd floor right. You can just look for her there.

Guy: No please trust me. I'm from Taiwan, I didn't bluff you one. (He took out his passport, air ticket and show me.) I need your phone to look for my girlfriend. My girlfriend is from Hong Kong and she gets jealous very easily. She don't like to see me with other girls. So I can't let her see you. I don't hope to have an argument and all later. You just wait for a while here... and I will be back with your phone.

Me: haha... sorry la. Can't help you. (And I walked off)

Waahhh... He sound so much like a salesperson. So convincing man! *thumbs up* Come on, if you're so afraid that your gf would be jealous, why approach me, a girl, at the 1st place? There's public phone on every floor in the shopping complex anyway. And do you think I will let you go away with my phone so easily and wait there like an idiot? Crazy.

So Boys and Girls out there, please beware of such con man out there! If you do meet one, make sure you bring him to a guard or police so that they can help him. I'm sure they can handle things better.

Evaporated

2005-11-08T09:20:00.000+10:00

I know I don't have as much things to say. Maybe I don't give the best reaction you can get. But why does it make me feel so ignored whenever they indulge into some topic. Wasn't I there in the room before they started talking about it? How come I felt like I'm not there.

Its like I'm transparent. Suddenly I vaporized into the thin air. They can't see me. They can't hear me. They never gave another thought about me nor my questions. People think I'm just another kid. Why bother?

Is it so hard to give me a chance to be part of the conversation?

I guess I might feel better to evaporate into the thin air. At least I can float to some place far away. Suddenly I'm not even interested in the things they're saying. Suddenly I feel so tired to even be concern.

Don't worry, I will reappear when they need me.

Happy Retirement Mom

2005-10-31T16:55:00.000+10:00

Being a proud daughter of a teacher who taught Form 6 Add Maths for many years, I took a liking in the subject and excelled in my Add Maths.

Being the head of Science and Maths department in a school, she earned much respect, but also gave her much burden and work that sometimes were too much to handle.

She had been teaching every since she started into the working life. Though its not the career she exactly wanted, yet she still stuck with it till the end. 30 years of teaching, facing pressure from naughty and stubborn students, I really respect her for having that kind of patience. Well, being the very good kid myself, I didn't give her too much trouble... there're just sometimes that I don't clean, don't listen, don't care..... haha! :P Alright fine, she has great patience for me too.

She is retiring soon... end of the year to be exact. Her students and fellow colleagues came together and made a little celebration for her. I wasn't there for the celebration, but according to her, they practiced some dance for her, shows, speeches, and gave her loads of presents. Many of which she don't even know where to put, or when to use them. Some of them are quite funny. Cute cow cup enough to hold one shot of espresso, a musical box which is not exactly a box, a green jade bracelet, a kiddy photo frame... We certainly had a good laugh from some of these things!

Some were really nice... some were quite expensive too. I was amaze at how the people were willing to spend for the gifts and to put in so much effort for the celebration. (A student contacted me secretly to ask for her young-time photos) I guess my mom did leave a very good legacy behind.

And I think I'll strive for that too. :D

Free time

2005-10-31T13:09:00.000+10:00

My boss isn't here today. He took Monday and Wednesday off. And because of that I would have to take shorter lunch today... because one of us have to be here at least... in case something happens *touch wood* Oh well, I'll just ask my senior to take away food for me. Kesian... *sniff sniff*

Because of that too, without that watchful eyes, I would have plenty of time blogging today! muaahhaa!! shh....... Of course I make sure I finish my tasks 1st la.

Now what shall I blog about?

Hmm... its hard to get inspirations only when I sit down in front of my computer and blog. Normally I get inspirations when I'm in the shower, in the toilet or right before I fall asleep. And hope that I will remember whatever I wanted to say the next time I blog. But well, it doesn't really happen that way.

Maybe I shall bring with me a notepad the next time I go to the loo.

hehe!

2005-10-31T09:57:00.000+10:00

To bump into the same cute guy you're eyeing at several times, is pretty exciting.

To get stared back at by the cute guy you've been staring at a couple of times, is breathtaking.

To be approached by that same guy.... is totally mind-blowing!

Guys with PMS

2005-10-26T09:59:00.000+10:00

Oh man... Is it just me? Or does anyone feels that sometimes guys have worse mood swing than girls?

I don't know why it has become so obvious to me. Maybe I just happen to be around some really moody guys recently.

One moment, he would be all smiley to you, joking and laughing. Just when you turn around, he could be cursing, scolding or grumping about something! *hides* Or sometimes I wonder what could have offended them in the morning when they greet you good morning with that I-couldn't-be-bothered look. What's his problem!?

Sometimes we'll joke about it and say that the guy is going through some sort of 'PMS'. But really... it isn't normal for a guy to have 'PMS' right? Or has the world changed? Maybe evolution caused men hormones to have temporal mood swing periods too! Aiks!

Sigh... due to this... I think even the most good looking guy sometimes just doesn't look that attractive anymore.

My likes and dislikes about myself

2005-10-22T01:08:00.000+10:00

My dislikes....

I don't like the fact that my brain works slower than other people.

I don't like it when things doesn't turn out right due to my inefficience or lack of ability to organize.

I don't like it that I take longer to read and write.

I don't like it that I'm not street smart, wouldn't even know it when I'm being cheated.

I don't like it when I'm indecisive and being taken advantage of for other's benefits.

I don't like it when I'm so predictable.

I don't like the feeling of dependent when I felt the need to have someone to hug and hold.

I don't like it when I can't fit into most clothes because I'm too thin or flat.

I don't like it that even when I know First Aid, whenever I saw a need, my brain and legs turn too numb to move.

I don't like it that I get nervous so easily.

I don't like it that I am hangat-hangat tahi ayam most of the time.

I don't like it that my vocab is so limited.

I don't like it when I know I couldn't do anything to help in a situation.

But well...

I like it when I manage to crack people up with laughter by making a fool out of myself.

I like it that my friends find me happy all the time because I forget bad stuff easily.

I like it when friends love the clothes I chose for them and thank me for it.

I like the feeling when someone constantly steal a glance at me.

I like the feeling of self achievement after my own hard work.

I like it when people think that I'm smart and brainy.

I like it when acquaintances starts to bloom into a wonderful friendship.

I like it when I could help in any situation, even if its just by being there to accompany that person.

I like it that my cat adores me now.

I like it that despite my naive and immature side, some friends still look up to me.

I like it when I find out that many people comes back for my blog updates quite often :P

Something is wrong with me....

2005-10-12T16:05:00.000+10:00

I think there's something wrong with me...

During lunch time today, we went to have a look at the Harvey Norman warehouse sale which doesn't have much things. We left after walking around the place for 10 minutes. What a warehouse sale, and they charge RM1.50 for the carpark. Well, anyway that's not what I wanted to talk about.

As we left the carpark, I had to turn right and cross a busy road to get to the other way. I waited there for more than a minute, then saw this bike coming at average speed. Well, I could have crossed easily if my mind was clearer. Instead I hesitated, wait for 2 seconds, accelerate, and break. OMG I ended up in the middle of the road. What in the world was I thinking? The guy on the bike was so confused and angry, he would have showed me his finger. My friends asked me what happened to me after that, but I couldn't answer them. I didnt know myself! What was I thinking? Suddenly I felt so blur. Like I couldn't think properly. Brain clogged or something.

After that I couldn't help but felt that something was wrong. Like some kind of disturbance, maybe like something was going to happen? If spiritual attack feels like this, it is freaking scary. Even when we were at the eating place, I felt uneasy. Bad mood? PMS? Or 6 sense maybe? huh.... o.0

Well, something did happen. Right next to where I parked my car, there was an accident. The road was quite squeezy because there were cars parked by the side, causing a lorry to drive into an aiport limousine taxi, scraping off part of the taxi boot, leaving half the boot door hanging. Hard to imagine I know, but taking a picture of it was far from my mind at that time. Nobody got hurt of course. And I quickly drove off my car to park at another place.

Then suddenly Yian told me she had a nightmare last night. And I remembered my nightmare last night. I dreamt of accidents in construction sites. Something from a kind of truck/tank/mover snapped and the whole thing overturned, killing the driver on top of it. The scary thing was, I didn't dream of one accident by itself. Instead it was like watching a documentary of all accidents similar to that. Different place, different people, same accident, driver dies. One after another. Urgh... My heart jumps a beat whenever I think of it. Its like watching the Faces of Death!

Now do you think I'm crazy? I think I seriously need a dream interpreter or maybe a psychiatrist.

Today....

2005-10-11T11:48:00.000+10:00

.....my presentation is postponed again. Donno whether I should be happy about it or not. I don't have to go through being nervous and all today.... but yet I have to prepare for the next time.... go through the slides again and again... think through my speech again... but well, practice makes perfect.

.....is going to be my 1st time going for gym(in Msia). Finally, after months of consideration, I've took up initiative and signed up for the Jackie Chan California Fitness. Although I don't have the right exercise wear or sport shoes, I guess I'll go well with whatever I have. And I'm gonna build up my muscles and show the true colours of a chilipadi! muahhaaha!

.....there was electricity outage again. sigh.. donno what's wrong with TNB! Can you believe it? 3 outage in 2 months! This is bad... baaaddd.....

Paiseh Incident!

2005-10-04T10:19:00.000+10:00

ARhh!! I did a super silly mistake today!

Previously my table was occupied by other colleagues before me. And many colleagues used the same phone extension number, as the one I'm using right now. And so happened previously the accountant sat here b4.

Today I got a call from Maybank to confirm a cheque. I got calls from them before, so I frantically searched through the telephone list and gave them the front receptionist number to call.

A minute later, one of our emergency phone rang. Since its the emergency line, you can imagine tension building up among the escalating team. So one of the guys picked up, went stunned and said out loud, 'Maybank?!'. You should know by now, I gave Maybank the wrong number!! And gave the whole team a fright! hahahah!

OMG! So paiseh! Now everyone is making a joke out of it, asking me to give the senior's number to call next time! I need to find a hole to hide now... byebye!

Meowww....

2005-09-30T15:28:00.000+10:00

OMG! Aren't these kittens super lovely!?? :D Mew Mew!

Arrogance + Lack of Confidence

2005-09-29T22:22:00.000+10:00

Have you ever known someone who is arrogant, and yet is a person who lacks confidence? Someone who boasts about the things he/she has achieved, and yet always whines that he/she not good enough and not capable? Someone who looks down at other people, laughs cooly when others can't do what he/she can do, and yet always seek reassurance from others of his/her skills?

I use to think we could only be either arrogant, or lack of confidence. I thought all I had to do was to balance in between. But instead, I realized how thin the balancing line really is, and that we fall to the sides so easily.

I remember what a friend said, 'Someone can project themselves as a person who lacks confidence, to hide away their arrogance.' The more I thought about it, the more I saw the truth in it. They can whine all day of their inabilities, but they are actually very proud of their abilities. They try to make a good impression out of themselves, yet they went to the extreme of both directions.

Being proud of one's achievement is good. But keep away from arrogance. Instead, keep ourselves humble and we will slowly gain respect. We should not lack confidence in ourselves... but instead, face challenges with open arms and be prepare to be taught... whether it be working knowledge or life lessons.

I always fall to the sides... in both directions from time to time... Here, I do not wish to show that I'm any better than anyone out there, but I just wanted to share a bit of my own life lessons. So that we can all learn together.

I love my job! And my car!

2005-09-29T11:03:00.000+10:00

heheh! Thankyou all for staying tune even to my rantings while offering advice and support... I'm seriously very touched ;) Now I'm going to tell you how overjoyed I can be with my job! hahah.. I can be very contradicting sometimes. Well, ok, let me tell you how my day went yesterday.

Basically yesterday morning I was all nervous. I let one of my friend bring my car for service since I know I wouldn't have time. He's the aggressive driver type and owning a nearly-brand-new car makes me worry even more. Whole day I was waiting for his call, praying that he wouldn't crash my car! And whenever he called, I prayed that its not bad news! :P

Well, to top up my nervousness, my team leader let me make some changes to the firewall configuration (I have been monitoring the network traffic last week for this). And to make that change, I'd have to coordinate with seniors in other teams to schedule a test with branches in other countries. Now, why am I nervous? The idea of coordinating with seniors I don't even know is already enough to send me to my peak nervous state! And what if the new configuration doesn't work? What if problems arises? What if I got bombarded? What if I screw the whole firewall up? arghh!!

Though Eva tried to calm me down... but I couldn't stop worrying! And my leader seem to just dump me on the job and didn't offer to sit with me for the testing period. :( 'OK! I can do it!', I told myself, trying effortlessly to calm myself down, 'Its my time to show them my chilipadi girl power now!'... hehehe...

And yeah... I went through the testing period... with my heartbeat at its peak, I was sure I was on high blood pressure. You could imagine me, sticking to my seat, staring at my laptop, waiting for the countries to do their testings.. or awaiting for the possible 'complains' that might come in. But there wasn't any problems, except some application problem. :D

OMG! I lived through it! You can't imagine how happy I was~!! I sent an email at the end and thanked everyone for their cooperation, and it was OVER!! hahah! Few minutes later, I got an email from a senior, thanking me for my effort! hahah! I bet you could see my heart flew through the ceiling! arrhh~~~ such a relief... I've done it! Thankyou God for seeing me through! *smooches*

And my car came home safely too. Although that friend scared me to the max when he lied and said he scratched the back of my car. It was such a relief to find my car in perfect shape when I got down and checked my car. Phew.... It was dinner time after that, but too bad he already scared the appetite out of me. We went for a movie and went home after that, driving my cute 'siao bai', all smoother to drive. That friend, who had a mechanic father, helped me top up my tyres with nitrogen, loosen my gear box and did wheel balancing and alignment. Didn't charge me a thing for that too. Thankyou thankyou! Dinner on me next time! :)

Phew! What a day!

Is networking for me?

2005-09-27T11:56:00.000+10:00

I've already been in this company for 2.5 months... 2.5 months into the networking job... and I'm still not sure whether this is my cup of tea.

Many people asked me, 'How is your job?'. I simply just replied 'ok ler'. I know I don't sound so enthusiastic about my job. But really, that's how I feel. I mean, how enthusiastic can I be? Looking at IP addresses all day long... looking at port numbers in all traffic... looking at the largest number in a list to jot down the maximum network traffic of the day... numbers... numbers... numbers... its really making my head spin.

I agree, its been great sometimes, when I'm given tasks that are new to me. And when I could learn something new. But sometimes, its just plain boring.

And one day when I was doing cabling with my leader in the server room, he told me he's not even sure whether networking is suitable for me (a girl). He said its because network people would need to go around doing the 'guy's job' (carrying things, screwing nuts, climb around to reach for the cables, work late sometimes...). I wouldn't mind doing those things with my best ability... but maybe my ability, being a girl, is somewhat limited?

At that moment in the server room, I happened to be wearing skirt, not to goda any guys, but because I'm born as a girl! (duh) But he told me not to wear skirt next time. :( Must I really become more boyish to do this job? Have to get rid of the girly side of me to do it all?

Tag it!

2005-09-23T19:22:00.000+10:00

Wah! Thanks to rijac, this is my first time being tagged. Well, here goes... hehe!

7 Things You Plan to Do Before You Die:
1. Visit all 7 wonders of the world.
2. Become a well known successful IT chick
3. Have my husband sing 'Fix you by Coldplay' on our wedding ceremony
4. Own a Volkswagen New Beetle
5. Design my own house
6. Make a family scrapbook
7. Go for sky gliding

7 Celebrity Crushes:
1. Jude Law
2. John Cusack
3. Freddie Prinze Jr.
4. David Beckam
5. Benjamin McKenzie
6. ChiLam Cheung
7. Josh Groban

7 Often Repeated WORDS/PHRASES:
1. icic
2. Okay
3. Alamak
4. I don't know la but...
5. Really..
6. izzit?
7. Too bad la! what to do? Born to be (Use to be.. now still got ah?)

7 Physical Traits I Look For In the Opposite Sex:
1. Fair complexion
2. Smart, clean hairstyle
3. Straight, white teeth
4. Chubby cheeks
5. Well built body
6. Smells good
7. Thin pinky lips

7 People to Continue This:
1. WaiLeng
2. Dan&Yian
3. Eva
4. Saddnesz.jc
5. Benjamin
6. Edna
7. Jared

September

2005-09-20T12:01:00.000+10:00

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends

like my fathers come to pass
seven years has gone so fast
wake me up when september ends

here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are

as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when september ends

summer has come and passed
the innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends

ring out the bells again
like we did when spring began
wake me up when september ends

here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are

as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when september ends

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends

like my fathers come to pass
seven years has gone so fast
wake me up when september ends
wake me up when september ends
wake me up when september ends

This song reminds me of the many things that happened in this month. Why do they sing a song about September? Does September mean anything to them?

This month a close friend went away to UK to continue his studies. Going to miss him. I wonder if things will be the same when he comes back next year? Maybe he would have UK-accented english by then, unlike now, funny manglish in every sentence. Things always change... no matter how much you want them to stay...

Read!

2005-09-19T21:26:00.000+10:00

"Sun! What should I do now?!"

That's my mom calling from the study room, waiting on me to guide her through searching the Internet for some information.

She is pretty much computer illiterate. She knows it herself. Though she is slowly improving, it still really frustrates me whenever she calls me to do a simple thing, read through the instructions and click on some things, eg. surfing the net. I mean, how hard is it, to read through a page and click on the thing that you want? And when I have no idea about the page, she expects me to tell her what to do? *dumbfounded* How come I didn't get spoonfeeds when I started learning how to use computers?

Well, at least my mom is better than a lot of people out there, I might say. She learnt how to go online, how to check emails, how to use internet banking. I am pretty proud of her. Its just that when it comes to new things.... she just doesn't like to read.

And I could understand how frustrating it is when people just don't read through the instructions and complaint that it doesn't work.

Patching tyre experience :)

2005-09-14T14:41:00.000+10:00

After much pestering from my dear friend Eva, I finally took my car to the service centre to check on my tyres. :P Its not that I'm not worried about my car, but i just didn't know where to go, what should I do, and how much I had to pay to fix the tyre. I didn't want to end up somewhere getting cheated and have to buy new tyres and all...

The service guy took a quick check on the tyre and walah! He found a nail stuck into the tyre... Oh, my new tyre :( Well, I guess he's quite expert in it, took a small rubber thingy and stuck it into the hole, patched it up, pumped air, washed the tyre, screw it back onto the car, and walah! its fixed. He's quite a nice guy too... Helped me check the air on all my other tyres and only charged me RM4. hehe... Then when I was leaving he helped stop cars from oncoming traffic so that I could reverse out. hmm :) Thumbs up for their good service!

However I'm still quite unsure of it all... Is my tyre really secure now? With one rubber thingy? What if the hole gets bigger? What if I hit another pothole? Don't wanna get myself stranded somewhere with a punctured tyre! Urgh... *shaking off the thought*

Flat tyre

2005-09-12T22:46:00.000+10:00

What a good start of a day. I woke up early today (5.30am) to send my mom to work because she needs to get her car fixed. The only-3-year-old Waja is giving us problems again. Previously it was the glove compartment, then some loose fix at the back seat, now her car window wouldn't close! Pretty dangerous as the car is practically opened 24 hours for any thieves.

So in the morning we drove to the EON service centre and put her car to be fixed. Then I dropped her at her school. Once mom was out of the car, suddenly she shot me a shocked look, eyeing my car front and back... Oh o.... My car tyre is flat! Oh no! My mom asked me to drive to the nearest petrol station to pump air into it. But I just got more panicked cause I'll be alone! How now? What am I suppose to do? Will I have to change tyres? Will my car break down on the way to the petrol station? How do I pump air? sei lor!!

I went to Shell station, tried to pump air myself, got my hands all dirty, and still failed. I asked for someone to help me but the shell girl only directed me to the next BP station. sigh... And so I went and lucky enough, I got someone there to help me. PHhhheewwww... Thank God!

Well, its at times like this that I regret skipping that 5 hour class when obtaining my licence. :P

This week's update

2005-09-09T16:38:00.000+10:00

hehe... looks like I'm going to do bulk updating again :P This week was nice...

1. I was given praise for my work the 1st time! heheehe.. They asked me to do some research on transparent proxy and make a report out of it. My senior read my report and said 'Good research, well done!' heheh! I'm so happy!

2. I tried the best grilled chicken drumstick ever! The marinate was tasty and soaks into the flesh, the skin was crispy, the smell.... wow.... tantalizing!!! I've been craving for it ever since then! And where is this yummy drumstick? Jalan Imbi, one of the stalls next to Honda showroom. After the dinner, Yian had 2 drumsticks for take away. And it filled up the car instantly with its aroma... Despite being full from the dinner, its smell still made my mouth watery!! One of my friend said the grilled chicken wing actually tastes nicer. I didn't try that ... well, maybe next time then :P

3. I got lost while taking my colleague, Eva home from office!! Well, as many of you should know, I don't drive to much places in KL. And because I was in Aus for the past 2.5 years, I really can't recognize much roads in KL. Well, I thought Eva would know the best way to go home from office. So, she guided me, and I followed, and then we went lost because we missed a turning. Arghh!!! We were really SOOO lost! We U-turned twice, hit 2 tolls... and suddenly we were heading to cheras!!??? arrghh!! And we went to UKM, then went Jalan Loke Yew, and straight into KL city with JAMS!!! OMG, instead of reaching home at 6.10pm.... I sent her home safely at 7 something. The night was dark already... And suddenly Eva turned to me and say "haha... that was adventurous! One day we should explore KL roads!", my eyes turned big and my mouth wide.... "Not again?!"

4. Cheng Fei is finally back from UK!! He's my ex-classmate from APIIT and we use to hang out very often. Wow, its really a different feeling since we've not seen him in nearly 2 years. Meeting old-time friends really bring back sweet old memories. Reminds me of all the fun things we did together with the whole bunch, food trips, silly jokes, laughters, and everything else. So carefree, so happy. I missed those times so much!

He talks with such proper language now!! haha So weird. When we went out for lunch today, suddenly he commented something like 'I couldn't believe I'm back!' My own overseas experience came rushing back to me... everytime I came back I felt so overwhelmed with the feeling.... the feeling of...... home. The roads are so different, the environment, the cars, the people. Without many close friends there in my 1st 2 years, I always longed for summer holidays when I could come back and hang out with my friends again. I remembered how much I missed them all... Now, I'm finally back for good. Instead I'm missing my friends in Aus! Pathetic isn't it?

5. I finally finished reading Da Vinci Code. Its a really interesting book. Such a good thriller. Then on monday after work, I went to Borders bookshop with Yian to grab more books. I bought Deception Point and A time to Dance. Now I'm halfway through A time to Dance! hehe.. I'm loving it!

Updates!

2005-09-04T01:13:00.000+10:00

It all had been pretty silent in here for a while. No reason why... just didn't have the time, and probably didn't have much to say..... arh! alright alright.. I've just been plain lazy to update. So here goes, some brief updates on what's happening in my life :D

My work has been great. I'm adapting to the job very well and I'm learning more things as I go. And of course, learning more things meant that I would have more tasks at hand. So yeah, I've been getting busier. Of course, I am grateful for that! Feels good having some achievements and new knowledge coming in most of the time. ;)

I've done my 1st Network Security Policy presentation to the manager last week!! Wow, my 1st feel of an actual presentation to the manager. The manager, he's such a busy man. We started our meeting at 4pm and he told us he had another meeting at 4.30pm, when our meeting is actually scheduled for 1.5 hours. So the nervous me thought "Well yeah! We can definitely rush through the 22-page presentation in 30 minutes." So I stood in front, going smoothly through the slides, then when we reached the main part of the presentation, Woosh, comes questions after questions, pin-pointing at every point of every slide! He wanted us to change this, change that, remove this, explain that. Phew! Thank God my leader was there to answer most of the questions. From a 30-minutes presentation, it turned into a 2-hour one. And I was standing in front the whole time! Something huh! :P After the presentation, the manager said, "well, not bad for a 1st batch presentation!" And my heart flew! lalalalaalalaa!! My team leader said, "He didn't reject all our points like what he did in some other presentations, which means its not bad" And I thought "hehe... consolation prize." :P

I've had my 1st outing with colleagues on merdeka eve. It was fun since they are mostly my age, mostly trainees like me. We went to TGIF for dinner and a movie after that. Something worth mentioning was, halfway through the movie, the film got burnt! We could see that the picture suddenly went distorted, leaving some leftover burnt film by the side and white screen in the middle. Seeing that the movie wasn't that good, we silently hoped that they would give us a refund for another movie at another time ;) But the pictures came up again in 15 minutes and they only gave us free mineral water.....................

I went to clean up our Palm Court apartment with my mom today. Knowing that cockroaches roam that place freely, we brought a new can of aerosol spray with us. We fixed up the beds, swept the floor, cleaned the cupboard... and at the end of the day, we used up the whole can of spray and killed more than 50 cockroaches, mostly out from the cupboard! Its amazing how cockroaches know how to hide in a cupboard. And you would find it funny seeing us on a frantic flee whenever a cockroach or cockroaches came out from holes that we spray aerosol into! hahah! eee! Goose bumps! Anyway, we're not done with that place yet. We would go back again tomoro and bring another can of aerosol.... well, you've got to get them all out!

Currently I'm thinking of ways to decorate my work place. Despite the professional environment and the a-little-dull decorations that most of my colleagues have, I'm tempted to bring all my cute things to decorate my table! Teddy bears, colourful mug, cute handphone holder, pucca clock, cute cow clip holder.... Urgh!! Resist... resist... better not overdo it in case people think I'm too childish! :(

Alright, that's my very brief update!! hehe... better get to bed now. Night!

arghh!!!!

2005-08-19T15:35:00.000+10:00

waiting....
waiting....

waiting for the webpage to load so that I can do my work...

......................

aarrrgghhhhh!!!!!!

Cool articles

2005-08-16T22:46:00.000+10:00

Goodness me... I just came across this and this.

And I thought all that I've read about in Malaysian blogs were big deal enough. Blogging about things openly not only pisses people off, but also could affect other's life, start a blog war and could even put your job at stake! Now lets be extra careful of what you blog about... if not we wouldn't know what would happen if you suddenly got fired! *touch wood!*

So there, you have freedom of speech... with the extra bit of consequences that comes along with it. Terms of Usage: Be careful not to burn yourself with it. ;)

I think I already did yesterday. Ouch!

My dinner

2005-08-16T22:11:00.000+10:00

Its 9.40pm... and I'm eating leftover food from my fridge consisting of salted vege with minced meat and plain rice. All this because mom is not home. All this because she's not here to cook for me.... haha! Alright alright... all this because I'm LAZY to cook for myself! There you go.

That's why I love her so much!! :P arhh!! *dodging invisible bullets* I don't mean I love her just for that laa... for every little thing she did for me everyday, for every little advice she gave, for every little thing she bought for me, for every little joke we share. Big hugs and muaks for my mommy!

I bet she would scold me thoroughly from head to toe if she finds out about this. Ops! Uncle just got home... better finish up the food real quick!

Counting the days before she comes home. :)

Monday blues continues...

2005-08-15T22:30:00.000+10:00

Sometimes I feel that my friends don't believe me. Like there's some lack of credibility in me.

Let's not have anything come between us.... including trust.

Today....

2005-08-15T17:19:00.000+10:00

Today everything kindda seemed dull. So uninteresting. Although I have quite some work to do... am suppose to finish up some presentation slides and practice-present it to my leader tomoro morning. I am suppose to present this document or rather propose this document to the management sometime soon. I am excited about it. I am anxious about it. But I just don't have the motivation now to anxiously prepare my presentation.

I'm just counting the hours before I could go home and rest my mind, do my own things, continue reading da vinci code :P ( That book is addictive :P ) Today there won't be dinner at home. My mom went for her teaching 'kursus' in Port Dickson with her school and she won't be back until Thursday. But my uncle will be staying for a few days.... So I guess at least I'll have company. hmmm... I hope he won't start telling me about his FengShui theories.

Mondays.... I think the monday blues caught up with me.

Down with cold

2005-08-10T17:06:00.000+10:00

so tired...

so sick...

so sleepy...

so cold...

so smokey...

I need my bed... I need Actifed... I need my blanket... I need rest... I need fresh air...

yaiks!!

2005-08-05T13:17:00.000+10:00

hmmmm..... so what is it in the work place?

Do they talk behind your backs? Do they gossip about others?

I think I might have done something wrong just now... but to me, it didn't really seem that wrong. Would you all please judge for me?

I was feeling a bit hungry at work today... and I figured I should make a cup of milo for myself in the pantry... At that moment, I was messaging another guy from work, just a casual chat sometimes when we're free. I told him I'm going to the pantry to make myself a drink, and he asked me to make another cup for him. After making some silly comments on saying he's a spoilt brat and other things... I went to the pantry and made 2 cups of milo...

Wow... when I went and passed the cup to him, every eye around the area was looking at me! haaa.... what? Now everyone thinks that there's something between me and him?? huh...... Am I flirty now?? huh..... not going to make drinks or anything for anyone anymore. No thanks!

Malaysian drivers

2005-08-03T21:32:00.000+10:00

What's the matter with Malaysian drivers?

They just don't seem to keep to their own lanes! Everywhere I go, I'll have to keep an eye for them.

Today there was this car, driving on the bus lane. He doesn't wanna come back into the car lane, fine. And when i was driving pass him, suddenly he came until only 2 inches away from my car! And the great thing was, he wasn't even looking my direction! Foiyoh... luckily I acted quickly, together with my skills, I avoided him hehe...

And then when you see a wide one-lane road, drivers would make up their own lanes, trying to sqeeze in and irritatingly cut Q. If that's not irritating enough, think about a 2-lane roundabout with 4 'virtual' lanes!

Although I'm trying not to do back the same, but sometimes its difficult to resist not to cut back the Q when they have done it to me 1st. And it is slowly turning me into a typical Malaysian driver..... NOOOoooo!!!

A little tragedy

2005-08-03T20:48:00.000+10:00

When your electricity goes out, what would you think it'd be?

Short circuit? Burnt fuse? Didn't pay electricity?

Mine turned out that the wires weren't patched up nicely... and was burnt. Yaiks! We were lucky it didn't burn down the house! And so it was one hot night without air con nor fan... saddening indeed.

Some guy came to fix it the next day. But too bad.... 7 out of 9 fishes in our aquarium had already lost their lives.... sigh..... :( Goodbye fishys, and rest in peace.

I'm getting old and tired...

2005-07-30T23:33:00.000+10:00

Is it that I'm getting older and weaker now? Or is it because that I've just started working?

Nowadays I felt that I'm not getting enough sleep. Every morning I feel awfully difficult to wake up, when I come home, I just felt like diving into slumberland, no energy for anything anymore.... not even on weekends!

Then I was wondering to myself.... how did I do it last time? I use to go out in the early mornings with my friends, shopping, chit chat, do things together whole day... and yet... I never seem to get tired. What's wrong with my body now!?

Urgh... I still have work to do... yeah I brought work home... and yet... I'm so tired....

Happy birthday Yian

2005-07-29T09:18:00.000+10:00

hmm... how great. I arrived at work not feeling like doing any work :P

Last 2 days was quite a hectic... mainly because I just got assigned to research on something that I would have to present to the management in 2 weeks time, and that it was Yian's birthday yesterday! And I had to ask our colleagues about sharing her present without her knowledge. Phhewww... :) Happy birthday Yian!

So yeah, on Wednesday there were emails flying around our mail server, trying to coordinate who and what to buy. But of course, in the end, I was the one to get the present myself. Since she's my lawfully wedded sister! :D So after work, I walked up and down Mid Valley for the present, I arrived home only at 9.30pm and dropped dead on the sofa.

I think that's why I was so tired yesterday... and I couldn't really concentrate on my research... thinking of whether she would like the present... how would she react... how and when to give her the present... etc etc....

I bought her a Sigg bottle bag, a cute giraffe notebook and a christian book. She said she wanted to guess so I gave her hints like rough, smooth, heavy, light, colourful and etc etc... And do ya know! She actually guessed the Sigg bottle bag! haha! Well, great minds think alike! :P Anyway I'm just glad she liked the presents.

Now... back to work.... hmmmm............

My 1st accomplishment

2005-07-26T22:04:00.000+10:00

hehe.... the feeling I am having now.....

..... is the feeling of self fulfillment :P

I've finished the 1st task that my team leader gave me -- to finish up the network operation procedure document. And my name is in the document! hehe... :P I was supposed to send a copy to all the operator and technical staff. I got so nervous I checked the document over and over again to ensure that it is error-free. In fact, I was still checking after I sent it! :P

I know its nothing lar.... sooner or later I'll have many many more tasks at hand. But the 1st always feels the best. :)

hmm... should I print out a hard copy to file it up?

I've lost it

2005-07-25T00:34:00.000+10:00

I've lost it.

I've lost my connection with God.

Though I go to church every Sunday, I don't feel so close to Him anymore. Maybe its because of my sins. Maybe its because of my past failure to follow His words. Has God given up on me?

I know that as a Christian, we ought to grow up. From baby to children of God. But sometimes I just wish I could be a baby forever. Then I won't need to initiate conversation with other church members. Then I won't be tied down with church responsibilities.

I ran away.

I ran away from making the connection with other church members... and I've lost it.

I wish I could be more outgoing.

My sister called home just now. I'm so glad that she's getting more active in church and hangs out with church friends more often. She's a younger Christian than I am, and she still asks me about prayers and stuff. But somehow I felt that I have no right to teach anyone about Christ, since I'm not that good myself.

I miss Lorraine.

I love you Baby

2005-07-22T18:04:00.000+10:00

I love my cat, named Baby. I can't really remember how old she is exactly, although I got her when she was still a baby. Some time more than 4 years ago, my dad picked her up from the longkang in front of my house. She was so cute and tiny, she could actually lie on my palm and sleep!

In my mind are full of memories of when she was young, when she ate her 1st meal, how proud I was when she knew where to do her 'business', when she was jumping around chasing the newspaper i made as her toy, gave birth to 2 cutie kittens named Sunny and Yianny.... After that, I went to Australia for 2.5 years. And I missed that stage of her life.... I missed her like crazy. Even had dreams of her and I wondered if she misses me. I know, I'm a cat lover freak!

Anyway cats are still cats. They are mou liong sum creatures. When you leave, they gracefully cat-walk away and move on with life.

When I came back from Aus, I ran to her and she ran away! SUCH a good pet! phooi! sigh... I guess cats are like that... So my strategy is that I shall feed and pamper her and she would loooovvvve me! muahahha.... yeah? But until now, she still prefers the attention from mom, even though mom doesn't really bother about her. When she 'meows' for attention, I gave her my attention, but she still 'meows' for attention.... from mom. urgh! Frustrating indeed!

But I guess the bond is made through time... and I can't complaint since I wasn't here most of the time for 2.5 years. So now, I could just hope I have another 2.5 years to gain that bond. Long live Baby!!

New Culture?

2005-07-20T14:43:00.000+10:00

I still remember the experience clearly in my head. It was during my 1st year in Australia. Well, I was young and innocent.... and blur, I didn't know what was the sex expo all about. So out of curiosity, I followed my friends to a sex expo in Brisbane Convention Centre.

To my amazement, it showed me another 'world'. It was then I felt that those time when we use to giggle past 'I Need House' in Mid Valley, teasing friends about it, meant nothing. The place was filled with booths selling condoms, sex games, vibrators, sexy lingerie and many many more. They were even 2 huge dick and boobs 'walking' around the convention hall (with people in them of course, just like the mickey in Disney). People even took picture with it, probably to show their friends of the largest dick in the world, apparently.

Walking on further, we saw another kind of booth. I don't know what they call it, but there are mainly poles.... with girls wearing only a G-string playing around with it... then further on, there's another booth where you could take picture with topless girls, with their boobs practically next to your face... I mean very near lar. And one of my guy friend actually went and took photos with them, with his gf just beside us! There were even shows on the stage, dance, talks about sex and all.

Despite the fact that I felt awfully uneasy in there, I didn't regret that visit because somehow I felt that I understand the world a little more now. That was in Australia. But although we don't have sex expo in Malaysia, although government ban it all in the movies and music, its undeniable that sex culture is slowing seeping into our community.

I must admit I don't like the boob-flashing idea, as much as I dislike porn. And its true that even without flashing bloggers, one could easily access porn in the internet anyway. And when you think about it, it seems to make no difference to add one naked picture on the web isn't it? But imagine having millions of flashing-bloggers on the web........... I'll let you think about that one.

Well, some people think that flashing their boobs is alright. Some people think having one night stands are ok. But all the more, its their own life and we can't judge nor stand in their way. Even if you think that they're promoting wrong values.

One may think that its wrong to expose our bodies. But we don't need name calling, shouting vulgar languages and critics, do we? As much as the flashing boobs annoy me, I disrespect those who pick on them and stabs.

Xiao Bai

2005-07-19T09:07:00.000+10:00

I drove my brand new Kelisa to work today! lalallala.... white in colour, it looks so clean and .... NEW! Put in my hillsongs cd and start to praise God!

God is great and his praise
Fills the earth, fills the heavens
And Your name will be praised
Through all the world

God is great sing His praise
All the earth, all the heavens
'Cause were living for the Glory of Your name
The Glory of your name

Holy is the Lord
The whole earth sings
The whole earth sings..................

And it started to rain... NOOoooo!!! Not on my brand new car!!! Sigh.... what can I do? Despite hoping that there'll be a giant umbrella above my car, I continued my journey to work. urgh... it'll be dirty soon enough anyway...

Red Antz Cafe

2005-07-18T14:55:00.000+10:00

woohoo.. 2 new trainees came in today. Am I considered a senior now? kakakak... 1 week senior? junior senior? Haven't got the chance to get to know them yet. But we'll have much time to come wouldn't we? :)

For lunch, I went out with Yian to eat at around Sri Petaling. Val was suppose to join us but she wasn't feeling too well and ffk-ed. Sigh, nemind lor... there's always next time.

Anyway today's lunch was Vietnamese chicken chop with rice at Red Antz cafe. Apparently, it didn't turn out to be what I expected (normal brown pork chop colour I had in Aus). Instead it was a little red red de! I wonder whether it had anything to do with its shop name, Red Antz. :P It tasted good! Red Ants tastes yummy! Muahahah!

The shop's deco was quite nice too.... with a big red ant soft toy hanging from the ceiling and some red ants wall lamps by the side. Sound scary?? hahah... nahh.. they were rather cute actually. Just like those toys where they'd make the scariest things to be the cutest thing... you know what I mean. So there, a big, fat, cute, cuddly red ant hanging down from the ceiling in the middle of shop.

In real life, grab your aerosol can and spray!!!

My new car arrives tomoro!

2005-07-18T00:02:00.000+10:00

Just one day more, and I won't need to take public transport to work anymore. Just one day more, and I won't need to hitch a ride from people all the time. Just one day more, and I'm free to go anywhere anytime! (Yes!!!) Just one day more, and I can drive my friends around places.

Yes! Just one day more, and it'll be the return of Xiao Bai!! (little white, the white starlet I had in Australia)

I can't wait to get my hands on the new Kelisa! :D

I hate arguments

2005-07-16T23:15:00.000+10:00

There, it happened again. Even after we've broke up, it still happens. Even when we say we will try not to hurt each other ,it still happens.

Why??? Why must we always argue?? I was never a person who would easily argue with someone. My friend was even shocked to hear that I was argueing with someone. But what is it with him? Do we really have so much differences? From communication, background, religion, values, culture, thinking.... do we have nothing in common? Not even fit to be friends? Maybe like what he said, he's so used to having arguments, he doesn't ever seem to see the problem.

Curious about knowing what happened? I'll tell you all about it.

He told me a short romantic story, and the guy said something very sweet to his gf. I told him it was touching but those kind of guys are difficult to find. Then he said something like, girls leave before finding that out.

Do you agree? I don't. So I said, maybe girls didn't get what they wants from their relationship? Why would a girl leave if the guy is really that good? what good if he's sweet only once in a blue moon and not all the time?

Then he said something like, he's been into enough experience to know that relationship is not all about wanting. And after meeting and talking to more girls, he believe that most girls are selfish with what they want.

Am I being too sensitive to be offended with what he said? If its true that most girls are selfish, then are guys not selfish as well? Am I too sensitive to think that he is actually discriminating me? Am i too sensitive to think that he feels that I don't know anything about relationships? innocent kid'o?

I'm tired of all this. Tired of arguments. Tired of ppl making me feel down.

Foooood......

2005-07-14T17:30:00.000+10:00

Just the fourth day and I realize I could really get fat sitting in office everyday. Every now and then, you would see me searching for food to munch on! For 2 days, I brought sausage buns and biscuits. All would be finished by the end of the day. And of course I do go for lunch with my colleagues too. It wouldn't be long after lunch that I start my crave again. But the cravings doesn't just stop there! When I come home, I start looking for food to munch :P

Soon I'm thinking of food that I could stock up in my locker... junk, sweets, biscuits, preserved fruits, chocolate, char siu pao, loh mai kai, curry puff....... wahhhh..... *dreaming*.... soon I'll have my own fridge here Muahahah!!

hehe... I think this is actually good for me. I really should gain some weight since a lot of people commented that I've grown thinner these few days... I don't know why myself! But my weight is still the same... 39kg. Shocking? hahhaha! So yeah! Come on fats! I'm not scared of ya! More! More!

My taste of working life

2005-07-13T16:30:00.000+10:00

Well, its already my 3rd day of working in DKSH network team with 2 seniors. Here's a summary of what happened these 3 days....

Day 1 :

Network team leader briefed me a little about the company structure, network structure, and all software and security mechanism used. He also took me into the server room (cold room) to show me the servers, switches, firewalls and routers. They have intensive security system -- they scan his eyes before we could go in! Cool.... Even Yian never been in there! muahahaha... My senior, Ricky have also introduced me to the entire office..... I couldn't remember anyone's name except Yian :| After that my senior got me to help him patch a telephone line in the cold room. So there, we went in again. And I went for lunch with Ricky and his gang.

What happened after that was hectic! Not for me, but for Ricky. He configured something wrongly on the firewall and it blocked all connections from the internet! Gosh... he did everything he could to troubleshoot the firewall. Me, being the new, good trainee, sat down quietly on my own and did my own things. Luckily they found the problem shortly after. But he would still had to answer to the boss. As for me, on my 1st day, no laptop, no books, no stationary, nothing. So I spent most of my time reading company magazine over and over again.

2nd day :

I got my laptop today!! yahoooo! No more boring days! :P Then Ricky taught me how to bind my notebook to an ip, and to add my ip to the proxy. And I also helped patch the telephone for my trainee colleague. Still nothing much to do since they won't let a trainee play around with the configurations. Instead my team leader gave me a documentation assignment to do about network operations procedure. Boring task... just thinking of how to write, type, think, type, a bit of research, type.... zzzz.......

Today :

I was nearly late for work coz I missed the Komuter and the LRT feeder bus was late. Luckily nobody said anything :P Didn't do much at work except for the documentation assignment.

Now that I've started working.... it feels that I don't spend so much time at home anymore. When I get home, I'm already tired and don't feel like doing anything. sigh... I missed those times when I goyang kaki at home all day hehe.... But of course I can't be doing that anymore..... If not mom will 'ngum' again! arh!

Crap mood

2005-07-10T00:26:00.000+10:00

I'm in a crappy mood tonight. Donno why....

Maybe PMS.
Maybe lack of sleep.
Maybe past few days of running around burnt most of my sugar and left me sour.
Maybe because of the housework and nagging from mom.
Maybe because I misplaced 2 things earlier which cause me to search frantically everywhere for them.
Maybe I'm just worried about my job.
Maybe I need someone here to cheer me up.
Maybe I'm lonely.

Whatever it is, I hope it'll all be better when I wake up in the morning. Good night.

Interview tips

2005-07-09T13:18:00.000+10:00

I've been through it and I know its best to get yourself prepared before each interview. Thanks to the tips given in this website. They have tips on how to prepare for commonly asked questions, what to do, what not to do, how to dress.... from interviewers' point of view.

Pretty good for me. I hope it works well for you too! Good luck to all!

I got offered!!!

2005-07-05T23:38:00.000+10:00

'haaaaahahahhahaahahahaaaahahahahah!!! omgomgomgomgomgomg!!!' That was my reaction (after I put down the phone) when I first got the news! hahaha! Too bad no one was around to share my happiness.... only my baby(cat).... hehehe! I bet she was wondering why I was jumping and screaming about! :P I seriously thought I didn't do that well in the interview! I had actually told myself not to think about it anymore, and that it would never come..... but IT DID!!! HAHAHAHAH!!! I got an offer from DKSH! Can you believe it Yian?? hahaha!!

phew.... I got that call when I was on my way out to attend my test in Kelana Jaya.... causing me to be half an hour late :P Of course I didn't arrive late, just that I had planned to arrive earlier. :D Anyway, today's test was actually an offer for me by PSMB(Pembangunan Sumber Manusia Berhad, some government thingy) to take a free Aptech Certified Computer Professional(ACCP) programme at Imperia Institute of Technology(that's where I had my test).

1st, let me tell you a little bit about the programme. Its actually to help unemployed graduates and to train us to be a software programmer mainly in the area of .NET and J2EE, which is much needed in the market. Candidates would attend classes for 5-6 months in Imperia Institute of Technology and to submit a project at the end. The course covers topics such as web designing, client server programming, advanced programming, specialization in .NET and J2EE, system administration, and software engineering. Then, PSMB will place candidates in IT companies for practical training for 3 months. The course actually costs RM13,000! Its not only given free to candidates, they would also be paid a monthly allowance of RM500 during that 8 months!

Anyway I took the 2-hour test asking logical questions, maths, Java and technical questions. It is pretty tough.... considering I haven't answered those kind of math and logical questions since high school, and hadn't touched Java since 2nd year Uni. :P Well, if I passed the test, they will set me up for an interview with the PSMB people.

Its a really good opportunity for me to brush up my programming skills, isn't it? Free, and being paid. Its very good indeed!

But.....

I'm really not sure about going back to study.... in programming? hmmm.... the girl told me imported Indian lecturers would teach the class. But the study environment there is not something I would prefer. And the place is also very far from my house. Furthermore, only RM500 compared to ~RM2000 salary per month? (haha! I am indeed money minded!)

On my way home, I received a call from HSBC asking me to take a test online.... saying that there's a job opening that they thought i might be interested. Banks... where my mom would love me to work at.

Urgh.... how can I decide whether to accept or turn down offers? I wish they could all come together so that I could pick and choose easily. Too many jobs get me confused :( I need a job consultant now!

Blogging

2005-07-04T10:50:00.000+10:00

After 4 interviews and 1 unofficial 'interview' in the past week, I've done many self evaluations of my own presentation... noting down their questions and how I could have answered better...

One of their question was 'What do I do to deal with pressure and stress?' Not suprisingly, the word 'blogging' came to my mind. Of course I didn't tell them that, I wouldn't want to have to give them my address and rush home to erase everything here! :P But its true... my blog spot had somehow became my way of opening myself, to let go of my pressures, or to better explain it.... 'fatt sitt ji gei' (in cantonese, how to explain this word in english?)

People had their own ways with blogs, political affairs, news, sex, you name it. For me, I have a simple life and I blog about what I feel in my simple life. Many times when I feel lonely, sad, angry... when I feel that no one understands, I blog... and hope to find someone to understand me. Maybe some people wouldn't like my blog, think that I'm boring, lame or whatever. But that's me on the inside. If you don't like my blog, means you wouldn't like me. Make sense?

One of my friend think that I shouldn't blog so much about my personal life. He felt that it made people more aware of my weaknesses... the negative side of me. Maybe that's true. Maybe it would make people think negative thoughts of me too, would it?

I was normally quiet during open discussions. I like to sit around and listen to what people have to say... also mainly because I don't have anything to say. I remembered one time, a friend came to me and said something like, I should be more confident of myself. Everyone is unique at their own thinking. If I was asked to speak at any topic, she was sure I would have something useful to say......

We weren't close friends or anything and we don't know each other that well. But she sure did say something that made me feel..... useful. And that the things I say, meant something.

Well, its true isn't it? Everyone has their own way of thinking. Who's to say when they're right or wrong?

Interview update

2005-07-03T23:57:00.000+10:00

Well, I went to the 'interview' at Manpower on Tuesday. Like what Jared said in my previous post comment, it wasn't really an interview... but rather assessing my skills to see if they fit any job vacancies available. My contact person made me go through some tests... nothing that hard... but the whole process went on for 4.5 hours! They were some management skill tests, typing test and proofreading test.

After all tests, she 'interviewed' me... and she introduced a job for me.... working in a frontline Microsoft call centre team, troubleshooting Microsoft products catering for callers from Australia and New Zealand. The company is Datacom South-East Asia. The job would be a 6 months contract with 3-5 weeks of classroom training. They would also provide me with free Microsoft professional courses after the 6 months contract. Although a networking job would fit my interest more, but I guess this would be good for my 1st job experience. So I told her I'll give it a try, and she said she could make an interview appointment for me with that company (which happened on Thursday) that would be a tele-conference interview with a guy (Michael) from Sydney. hahaha... I know, I couldn't believe it myself when I first heard it. Tele-conference interview with an Australian?! That's something I've never had before! Have you? Anyway I went home that day smiling to myself, wondering what have I gotten myself into! :P

On Thursday, I went for the interview. Happened that it wasn't exactly the type of tele-conference I was thinking about. No big screen showing Michael and his office.... just a telephone. aiks.... I was a little disappointed, but I guess that helped make me less nervous. I did my very best to answer all questions to promote my strengths and knowledge. I hope they thought well of me. And I hope they would give me an answer soon....

So far, I haven't got anymore interviews coming up. Maybe I should look for non-IT jobs to fill up my time... or maybe go for some classes... recommendation?

ICT fair

2005-06-27T13:31:00.000+10:00

Bah... since I've told you about my 1st interview... might as well just tell you about my 2nd and 3rd interview. haha yeah... I had 2 more yesterday.

I went to the ICT fair in PICC(Putrajaya Convention Centre) with Lanzai and Yoke Yeng. Lanzai actually stayed overnight at my place on saturday night so that we could go there early the next morning. We got to that place around 9am. I thought we were early but to my amazement, the place was packed! We registered, got employer list and went to shortlisted the ones that we wanted to go.... which was 50 companies out of 73. :P Yeah... we were greedy. But you wouldn't wanna miss out on any good opportunities ,right~!

There were companies like Shell, ASTRO, Maxis, IBM... even APIIT! :P I dropped in my resume at most stalls and got myself 2 interviews in the interview hall. The 1st one was EA Consulting which had a graduate trainee position in ABAP Programming and SAP Consulting. Wow, she asked me so many questions.... my strength, weaknesses, success, failures, family background, and some other behavioral questions. I liked the position, but they were actually looking for people with 2nd class upper hon. degree. So I'm not putting my hopes high for that..... The 2nd one was a technical support position in Emerio. It went so so... nothing interesting... lots of Indians... and I left still hoping to get the call from DKSH.

After that I got myself another appointment for an interview on Tuesday in Manpower. I'm not sure whether its an interview or not... since the company is a recruiting company. Maybe its just to assess my skills and knowledge so that they can help me find a more suitable job? sigh... whatever it is... I just hope I won't make a fool out of myself.

1st Interview

2005-06-27T12:33:00.000+10:00

Seriously I do not know how did the interview went. I just know I rushed through the questionaires like I was rushing for the train. I forgot to say things that I should have to promote myself a bit more. I said some crap about myself that I shouldn't have said. (How did I know it was crap? Because that's when they focus their attention to you and look at you one kind.) Many sentences didn't come out the right way. And I was nervous. I was always nervous talking to strangers. So its pretty normal........ ARGH! I wanna scream! How could I say those stupid things?

Hmmm... of course there are places where I think I did ok. I gave positive answers most of the time. I was friendly and smiled all the time. I gave some good examples. I dressed professional and gave positive body language.

And someone said to me, "Its ok... probably you'll get a better position with a better employer next time." That person made a good effort to console me. But...... does that mean the company has already rejected me? No hope anymore?

Its over anyway... I try my very best not to think of it anymore. I got a good experience out of this. But then... my mind just doesn't seem to wanna let go.... and most of the time.... I'm my own worst critic.

Stress!

2005-06-23T00:26:00.000+10:00

Seriously I do not know where and how to start this post today. My mind is packed, stressed, excited, yet confused. If you know me well enough, or maybe do read my blog, you should know that I'm currently looking for a job. But then again, I didn't blog much about it :P

Two days ago, while I was surfing through the net and chatting with a friend, I received a phone call. I thought it would be a friend calling from somewhere... but... I don't recognize that voice. She introduced herself as Nancie, and told me she was calling from DKSH about my application for the management trainee in IT. The 1st thing that came into my mind was 'Oh man! wait till Yian finds out about this!' hahaha! She asked me to go for an interview on Saturday at TPM. I was so stunned I just answered 'yes... yes... yes...' :p aiks... I hope I didn't leave a bad impression or something.

I ran to my mom and told her the news.... And received the bad news.... she has school on Saturday! So I won't have the car. How am I going for the interview?! Maybe I'll take a cab there? Should I ask a friend to take me? Maybe I'll take my mom to school and fetch her back after interview? What if I got lost?!? Stress!!!

What am I going to wear? Should I tie my hair? What should I bring there? What should I say there? I need to prepare myself... I must practice my interview questions and answers... I must not be nervous.......... Man! I'm super nervous now!!

I know I can be as nervous as I can be now... just have to make sure confidence is all that's written on my face on Saturday. And hopefully pimples won't start popping :p

hmm...pimples.... I'm going to do my mask now. Ciaos!

I'm so pissed!!!

2005-06-15T23:36:00.000+10:00

7.10pm - I was at LIDO shop and placed my order of a Singapore meehoon, one dish of vegetable, and a soup with the 'si tau po'.

7.10 - 7.45pm - seeing many people who ordered after me, leave with their take-away packets

7.50pm - The 'si tau po' came to me and asked 'you ordered what ar? Hokkien noodle??', fine! I repeated my order.

8.00pm - The 'si tau po' gave me my order... without the vegetable. I took the food, paid, and of course I did't pay for the vegetables. I didn't even look or talk to the lady, I was afraid that I might pick up my slippers and throw it to her face!

Its already the 3rd time such a thing happened in that LIDO shop! And it wasn't even busy there! Why am I always the victim to such things?! Is it that I look young and innocent, or maybe childish sometimes that makes people think that I'm bully-able? Not important?? Invisible?? Such disrespectful person! Didn't even care to say sorry for making me wait, or losing my order.

And I vow to myself that I will never buy any food from there ever again... even if its the only coffee shop in my area.

Best friend

2005-06-14T00:48:00.000+10:00

I have a question.... What qualities should a person have to be your best friend?

Actually I've just found out that someone actually calls me her best friend... and I can't deny that I'm secretly enjoying it :P Well... of course I'm happy la! wouldn't you be if you were me?

I would say that I'm never really the best kind of friend I could have been... Sometimes I can neglect a person accidently whenever I'm excited over something else... I have a big bad habit-->I never initiate phone calls... which means... I never call :P and I never really tell anyone everything about me.... you know... I still need a little bit of privacy ma.

So what made her call me her best friend???

I have several best friendss.... I wonder if that counts...

Love

2005-06-10T01:56:00.000+10:00

Some are so eager to find it. Some are desperate enough to grab anyone available around the corner. Why is it so? It had been creeping in our hearts secretly everynight. At least it is for me tonight....

How do you know what you really want from a relationship? From my past, I am still finding out what i want. Someone who makes me happy? Someone who is responsible? Someone who I can rely on? So what if he fits all 3 criterias and missed any other ones? And when you find him, will you tolerate with how the person is? Or would you want him to change into the way you want him to be? And when you make a 50 criteria list, how much chances do you think anyone would hit such a mark? No matter how 'perfect' the person is, somehow we would still find fault.... till sometimes we want out.

Many couples started off just within days of knowing each other.... and end up happy together through the years.... and people wonder how they do it. Some started off after years of knowing each other.

Which one is more likely of a happy ending?

Most people agree to relationships that started off from friends... but I don't quite believe the difference. Normally people treat their gf/bf different than normal friends..... well, at least I do... like pay extra attention and become more sensitive. So what good is it for him if I were to become a different person after we are a couple? Or maybe all he wants is the way I was when we were just friends.

We are to learn from our experiences.... but somehow sometimes it catches me in confusion.... not knowing where to go, what to do...

3am morning report

2005-05-18T03:13:00.000+10:00

Once again... its 3am in the morning. I lie in bed again staring at the empty room with a hungry mosquito unwilling to let me sleep in peace. Irritated, with one side of my nose blocked, I figured maybe some flu medicine would help me sleep better. And I figured, maybe I could update my blog friends while the medicine work on me! So here I am, blogging in the middle of the night after nearly 3 months of absence. :P

Well, I'm back in KL for 2 and a half months already (if you're still wondering). I am still jobless.... mainly because I hadn't really applied for many jobs yet. In the past 2.5 months, I had my more-than-fair share of fun, helped out with housework and some of the family stuff..... but I mainly just stayed at home. Weird isn't it? After I came back from Australia, I just didn't really feel like going out anymore. Sometimes I felt like, 'Hey I'm here to stay, I can go there anytime later when I feel like it' or 'No worries, I can catch up with him/her anytime in the next 6 months'. Man! I'm such a bummer! But yeah, I've put in more effort to apply for jobs and I hope I will get one good one soon. And pray to God I won't be a bummer at work as well!! haha

Or maybe its just because I don't have a car yet? ;P

I kindda miss study life sometimes. It was tough... but it was fun just staying up all night with friends rushing over some assignment or studying for an exam, helping each other out, sending msn messages to each other although we're 2 steps away... hehe... those were the times.

*yawn* I think the medicine got to me liao. Good night sweet dreams. zhao gong here I come again!

pack......

2005-02-26T11:26:00.000+10:00

So many to pack!

Looking at my things....
...2.5 years of accumulated stuff...
...all full of memories...

Some going home with me...
...some going to the rubbish dump...
...all remains in my heart...

Sunrise?

2005-02-24T12:08:00.000+10:00

Such a beautiful picture.... was it sunset or sunrise? Was it the beginning of a new day or was it the end?

My mind is clouded with uncertainty. What is going to happen when I go home? What about my life over here in Australia? Is it the end?

Its funny when I think back the times when I first came to Australia. I was so reluctant to come. I was so lonely and afraid. I called home often.... ok, I called my Malaysian friends much more often. :P

But slowly I begin to adapt to the life here.... had more friends... got my car... which gave me more freedom... Now I'm feeling sad to leave Australia!

I've learnt many things here in Australia. Its a place where I really grew up.... in Christ and in maturity... Its where I truly learnt about responsibility, friendship and myself. I made some close friends here that had truly made an impact in my life. Without them, I would never have survived this long and would not have enjoyed my stay here in Australia. Mere words cannot express my gratitude towards them.

Although I'll be leaving Australia this Sunday and may not come back in the near future... I'm believing that God will make our paths cross again... We shall meet again and remember the times we had together. And you shall see...

...that you have a part in me.

Sweet memories of 2004

2004-12-31T18:30:00.000+10:00

Oceania Convention

Bribie Island

Movie World with bunny!

Heavy groceries!

Violin by the river

Black bread for breakky!!

1 little 2 little 3 little pretty girl... :P

Very nice.... I mean the beach

Sitting by the beautiful snow

Mr. Lady at Renewalk! hhaha

Daniel 2 photo taking session at church

Hinson: hammer in plastic?
Mel: I'm from outer space...@#%^&

Yummy Hog's Breath dinner

New year thoughts

2004-12-31T15:25:00.000+10:00

Its new year's eve today. A few more hours and we'll celebrate new year. So, how have 2004 been for me? Well, here's a quick recap for what had happened during the year.

I started off having holidays in Malaysia, had a great time with great food and great friends. Then on mid February, I came back to Australia with 3 of my good friends (Sharon, Joyce and Andrew). At 1st they wanted to look for a place to move to... only to find that my place is still the best :P So in the end, we all stayed together, 5 person in a 2 room apartment. Not bad huh! It was truly an experience I would never forget.

Me, Joyce and Andrew went for a trip to Sydney, Melbourne and Tazmania during mid year break. It was a great adventure :) We tried skiing for the 1st time and that was way cool and tiring as well hehe... I'm keeping my gloves and beanies for my next ski trip!

Yeah, I started blogging, got really addicted to it and soon lost interest! :P haha That's just so me!

I finished my degree! I'm not going back to studies anymore! I guess I've had enough of studying for 15 years. That also means new adventure to the working world. Well, here I go!

The lease of my previous rental place ended. So I've had a week of busy packing, moving, cleaning and organizing. Now I'm staying with Lorraine in her small, packed, hot room for just $45 a week! Oh, I'm not complaining hehe....

My registration car plate number was stolen. So I got a pair of new ones for just $20. Well, byebye to 825IGF.... now my baby has a new name *048IIC*

Just recently I've celebrated Christmas in Brissy for the 1st time! No white christmas, no happening events... but its something different :)

Well, I can say that its been a pretty normal year. What can be so different in a student's life, right? Anyway I hope that next year will be a better year :) And God will continue to bless us throughout the year, right? Have a good one, cheers!

Announcement

2004-12-27T01:13:00.000+10:00

Hmm... 3 posts today hahah.... Suddenly I have a bursting desire to shout out to the world :) I do hope this desire won't stop right here... I do wish to keep this blog alive... But 1st I need to spend time on my more important things mah... do understand k

1st announcement: My graduation ceremony will be on 15th of February. If you wish to attend, do let me know... I'll be very touched :) Book your tickets early! Its running out fast! hehe...

2nd announcement: I'm coming home to KL at the end of February, after my graduation. Anyone willing to give me a lift home from the airport? Anyone dying to see me? Friends in KL, I miss you guys heaps!!

3rd announcement: I'm doing fine over here... have been busy with Christmas and all, mostly shopping hehe... I've got 6 presents this year :D the best one is a hand-made hanging lantern from a great friend... he did it himself and it took him 6 hours straight! Thanx a lot... I love it!

4th announcement: I sang a song (solo) on Christmas party, in front of many strangers. My 1st time! I was so nervous I went stiff! I'm really really glad its over (phew'), but I'm glad I got the experience as well...

Well, that's all for tonight! Good night people... ZZzzz......

Favourite christmas song!

2004-12-27T01:00:00.000+10:00

O little town of bethlehem by Jewel

O little town of bethlehem
How still we see thee lie!
Above thy deep and dreamless sleep
The silent stars go by
Yet in thy dark streets shineth
The ever lasting light
The hopes and fears of all the years
Are met in thee tonight

For christ is born of mary
And gathered all above
While mortals sleep, the angels keep
Their watch of wandering love
O morning stars, together
Proclaim the holy birth
And praises sing to god the king
And peace to men on earth

O holy child of bethlehem!
Descend to us, we pray
Cast out our sin and enter in
Be born in us today

We hear the christmas angels
The great glad tidings tell

O come to us, abide with us
Our lord immanuel!
And peace to men on earth
Merry Christmas everyone!

MIA

2004-12-27T00:50:00.000+10:00

So weird, I hadn't blogged for a month. It seems that I had lost interest in writing quite a bit. I use to spend hours to compose my posts. Where has my passion gone? Do I have nothing to share? Oh no, I have many things I could share... laughters, joy, disappointments.... but then suddenly, I felt like being invisible.

Why?

Have you ever felt like going someplace alone, away from all the others? Some place where no one will judge what you are doing? Some place where you can enjoy your own company, doing what you enjoy doing most without thinking of what other's opinions may be. Well, I'm not saying that my friends always judge me. I'm not saying that my friends think of me wrongly. And I'm also not saying that I always do things that my friends do not approve me of. But sometimes I guess I just need to be alone. I guess as much as I need my friends, I need my privacy as well.

Or maybe its because I care too much of what people think of me? I'm being too careful with what I do, afraid that people will think that I'm a weirdo, afraid that people wouldn't like me...

Insecurities are tying me me down....

Until next time... see you

Going home...

2004-11-14T01:10:00.000+10:00

Some of you may know... I've been really lost lately, mainly not sure of what lies ahead of me. Not sure whether to further my studies? or to start earning my own money? So many different routes i can take, so many different things to consider. Its just such a tough decision to make... not being sure of which one will work out the best for me. I even worked out a 7-page plan to see what will happen if I were to stay in Australia or go home to Malaysia :P haha yes! my own version of requirement specifications.... 'Planning is the act of establishing the means of attaining strategic objectives' - adapted from Network Planning lectures. (Sorry my mind goes abit nuts when I study too much) :P

Well, being a Christian sure didn't make it any easier... I had to learn to trust in God to lead me and learn how to wait for His signals! huh..... me being a person who likes to lead my own life... God sure did squeeze out much impatience in me. But God sent friends for comfort and even help me sort out my mind...

Yian gave me a verse ... 'commit to the Lord whatever you do, and all your plans will succeed.' And I realized.... that it doesn't really matter what you do... but the most important of all is... what's our motive in doing it? Is it for God's goodness? Or is it for our own selfish ways? Is God in the picture of our plan? Learn to put Him in the picture. He will bless our plans if we bless Him in our plans. :)

So..... I thought through the details... called home.... and finally I made my decision to go home. I'm not exactly sad or anything... but I know I will miss everything here. And everyone.

And well actually 2 days ago I went around reading other people's blogs. I know I know... I should be studying hard. In fact I've been studying... just on different materials :P Anyway my decision to go home is something that I want to do for my own life... I think my going home is what my mom wants.... I've even think my going home is what God wants...... but this post in my friend's blog gave me another view... Is my going home = what Malaysian government wants??? Very interesting topic. Have a read and tell me what you think. :) Have a great week! God bless...

Happy happy joy joy

2004-11-10T15:06:00.000+10:00

hmmm.... I'm glad I woke up happy today. I don't know why..... I didn't dream of any happy things. In fact this is not my happy period.... especially with all the exams coming up, Elin left home for good, and Joyce not back here yet. But anyway, I'm sick and tired of being sad and low. Blogging my sad moments online does make me feel better.... however it also made lots of ppl worry for me... hmmm.......

I remember my happy times during school days... and I wonder.... how did I manage to be so jolly and happy all the time? What was my secret? I use to wear an invisible banner "happy go lucky" on my forehead. Where is that banner now? Left lying somewhere in my closet?? I guess was too 'blinded' to see it there. What do you expect? Its invisible! Well... of course I know that I didn't so much to worry about then. But....... whether you wanna live your life happily is a choice, isn't it? Whether you wanna see things optimistically is your own choice, right?

And I just hope I could be the one who'd bring joy and laughter into people's life. If I ever forgotten this again... please help remind me.... "I make my choice to be happy today"

Painful experience

2004-11-05T16:25:00.000+10:00

When I look at what she's going through now, memories kept replaying in my head. I tried to give all I could to comfort her... just like what I needed.

Maybe this is why it happened to me a year ago. To reach out those who undergoes the same situation.

Its not easy. Its very difficult. Its like I'm reliving the past again. Its like another cut on your previous wound. Painful. I didn't have much close friends in Brisbane then... which made it even harder. No shoulder to cry on, no one to put me to sleep, no one to cry with me, no one seem to understand... Sometimes I ask why must it be me? I don't want to have such experience. I can't bare this sadness. But what choice do I have heh? A route I'm forced to take.

Right now I just wish I could be there for her... reach out to her.... let her know that indeed she's not alone... help her up again...

And I understand why I'm given the task that I'm given.

I understand.

Only the strong would be able to rejoice during hard times. Let us all learn this together....

I want to go home

2004-11-05T11:44:00.000+10:00

Its been horrible these few days. Nothing seem to be right. Event after event drag me down even more.

why is it that before happiness there is always suffering? why is it that when there a rise, there would be a fall?

When is the roller coaster ride got to end?

I can't take it anymore.

I want to go home.

Charlotte's birthday

2004-10-26T03:23:00.000+10:00

hmm... whenever I feel moody, depressed and all, few moments or days later, some things will lift me up again. And it was two days ago that we had this memorable night, dinner cruise at Brisbane river, to celebrate Charlotte's birthday. It was a wonderful dinner, and a very expensive one as well :P Of course, we never fail to enjoy our little make up party and preperations before that... hehe

You see, going on the dinner cruise was Charlotte's dream... and we decided to make her dream come true.... and of course we made it a suprise for her! hehe...

Due to our wonderful actors and actresses we manage to make her believe that we're bringing her for a dinner at the casino... by asking her to bring her passport as well :P Below are the girls that joined in... Suh Chyi, Charmaine, Ping, Elin, Charlotte, Gloria, Lorraine and myself.

Once again, Andrew was proven to be the luckiest guy again. Yes. He was the only guy who joined in that night. With all the girls fall head over heals for him........ NOT! haha... he wish...

This photo was taken on the side of the boat. It was truly a great night... the buffet was good... I had three rounds myself! Hmm... totally loved the oysters and ceasar salad! nyum... Sorry didn;t take any pictures on that.. we were too busy eating hehe... Then we sang birthday song and Charlotte had her chocolate peanut butter swirl made by Gloria and Alvin. Its not a cake you see... its chocolate mixed with peanut butter... I totally loved it! I would like one like that on my birthday! *hint*

On that night.... there was a guy with a guitar, singing tunes to entertain everyone on board. And of course, we all had fun on the dance floor too haha! We had slow songs and fast ones... I don't need to mention this but yeah, the luckiest guy danced with every one of the pretty girls. hrmp! how come we don't get to dance with handsome guys???! Not fair! :(

It was truly a night to remember. For Charlotte, as well as for all of us. I bet I will miss this bunch of people when I leave for home.

Revelati0n

2004-10-23T02:15:00.000+10:00

Its sickening isn't it when you know there's always hard times in your life.... as much as the good times you would have. In fact I believe there's a balance between the two... and that God has a scale for us to have the equal amount of both! The more happy you become, the more hurt you'll get later. Even the happiest couple have problems. Even God hurts when He sees me like this. Maybe that's just how life is.... We can never be happy all the time...

I've been really happy in the past few months. Totally enjoying my life with my housemates and church friends.... like there's nothing to worry about in the world. But just these few days.... everything turned around. Why? spiritual attack? uni pressure? past hurts? not sure of where to go after I graduate? Or is it because my shephard is leaving already? Maybe its all rolled up into one... invisible arrows shooting me till I fall...

Sorry to have scared you guys with my previous post. I've really made many people worry for me huh. I know I shouldn't have written such a blog... but what's a blog if I don't get to express myself? I just wanna thank God for you. I couldn't have gone this far without you.

As for the fear. I command the fear to leave right now in Jesus' name! ............................................. ops... fear is still here. Well, I know one day it will go away. But I will take it one step at a time. Leaps freak me out!!

run away

2004-10-22T01:41:00.000+10:00

I remember when I was young... I had a bad dream.... I woke up crying.... and my dad came to comfort me... carried me and pat me to sleep....

Things are different now.... There's no one there.... No one to comfort me when I'm afraid.... No one to stop me from crying..... No one seem to understand....

They say there's nothing to be afraid of. They say that its going to be okay. But why do I still tremble? Why do tears keep forcing its way out? Have you ever had the feeling that when you don't want to cry but tears keeps coming? Do you understand? I hate that... I really hated it.

I don't know how to describe my feelings right now..... Maybe I could use a song....

Run away - 陶吉吉

无名的怒火有说不出的无力想敲打我自己
os:太阳快要下山了什么都不做只拿着遥控器一直不停的换台
麻木的神经感觉自己像个机器快不能呼吸
os:快打开冰箱看看里面的东西唉~ 除了酱瓜什么也没有算了吧去外面吃吧
火辣的太阳永远在前方无尽的公路无尽的追求

我想要 run away run away 不想再怀疑自己对不对
甩开一切无所谓 run away run away

像困在雾里焦躁的想从茫然的现实中逃离
os:唉~ 想的太简单了吧你觉得你想做的都可以做得到吗?
淡掉的感情还坚持下去又有什么意义
os:喂! 你拿着车钥匙要去哪里啊你别忘明天还要上班呢别在外面鬼混了
风吹乱头发黑暗星空下无尽的公路无尽的自由

我需要 run away run away 不想再怀疑自己对不对
甩开一切无所谓就快去 run away run away
我可以 run away run away 不想再怀疑自己对不对
是为自己不为谁不在乎的 run away

很多人再说不断的一直说必须这样子做不能够那样做
却又没有办法在自己的生命中突破 oh ya~
如果再不走就永远不会走别让自己再回头没挣扎怎能够有自由快走

现在就 run away run away 不想再怀疑自己对不对
甩开一切无所谓 run away run away
快点去 run away run away 不想再怀疑自己对不对
是为自己不为谁不在乎的 run away
现在要 run away run away
今天要 run away run away
现在要 run away run away
今天要 run away run away

I'm back!

2004-10-19T01:25:00.000+10:00

wow... I couldn't believe it myself! I hadn't blogged for 10 days already! Yeay! finally assignments are over... but that also meant the starting of my exam period! huhuhhu :( I miss holidays..... Anyway let me update you about what's been happening in my life lately...

Lately my computer failed on me. :( The Windows couldn't load up! Oh man, I thought I would lost all my files that time! Luckily I did some settings and finally I got the Windows to load. And I spent 2 nights reformatting and reinstalling my Windows.... Finally I reformatted my com after 2 YEARS! cool huh... hehe

Also, our caregroup had a moon festival celebration at Roma Street parkland. It was a fun night with good games and activities. Anyway it was Sharon who organized the event! Well done yeah! So happy to see her so willing to step out and serve God this way :) Hope we could really grow and serve God together yar. Anyway too bad we didn't really play with the lanterns.... a few of them were burnt before we could do anything with it :P

That next day was our church Renewalk! Its our fundraising event and all sponsored church members had to walk 10km. It was indeed a long walk, but look at us! the strong Daniel II haha...

It was really tiring especially under the hot sun. It was fun though, walking with a bunch of friends, just chatting and joking around while actually enjoying the walk! I think it was really sampat too :P .... we stopped to buy ice cream, kfc burger and we stopped occasionally for camera shots too hehe... It was hard work to our feet.... and at last... our final step....

Oh yeah! I'm so happy I lead praise in caregroup 2 weeks ago! I still couldn't believe that I actually did it! It seem so funny now whenever I thought about it. I was so nervous. I was so afraid. I'm sure there were cold sweat on my palm at that moment. But I'm glad I was given such an opportunity. It was really an experience that I will never forget. Thanx for all the support and trust. I love Daniel 2!

Also in the past few days, other than cracking my head over my assignments, I learnt alot from my deadly encounters with my housemate. Well... not exactly as deadly as it may sound... but it sure caused much arguments. Anyway, I'm glad that its over now. We had a long long chat and finally solved the problem. I'm sure that you have heard much from people that friends should not stay together. They say that we will be able to see the ugly parts of each other and argue and it will break our friendship. I never did believe in it... I still don't! I believe that if you care enough, cherish your friends, work hard enough to mend problems, it will never break. In fact, encounters like this would make friendships stronger in the end! So friends, I hope that we will always treasure our friendship. Its a waste to lose a friend like me, don't you think so? hhaha! Thanx for reading my long winded post! Cheers!

assignments

2004-10-08T10:49:00.000+10:00

Its been really busy lately. Having one assignment to hand in this Sunday, and another one next week. I haven't really got the time to update my blog. Partly also because the internet connection here is crappy. Last night I waited for a good half an hour just to upload a picture! It is at these times I wish so much to have a broadband. Anyway I wouldn't be blogging much until my crucial busy period is over. You can always tag me coz I'll check the page once in a while. Take care while I'm away! :) ciao

My holiday

2004-10-05T02:51:00.000+10:00

Wow... time passes so fast when you're having fun. I haven't even been sitting down to update my blog for a while! You must have been bored surfing my page since you can only see the same post all this time... hehe... don't worry... I'll tell you all about my holiday.

It started off on 24th of September when I went for the trip to Bribie Island. I wrote a post about it earlier if you didn't know. A very nice trip with the leaders! I really got to know them better during this trip... especially Gloria whom I found that I have lots of things in common with! hehe... except the fact that she loves cooking. :P Here's a group pic that we took. Lovely bunch....

We came back on the Sunday morning, headed straight to church and that's when I found that I have caught some rashes... ew... I'm still having it now.... Anyway after that 5 of us (me, Lorraine, Gloria, Chui Lian and Andrew) went to Harbour Town for shopping! hehe... we sure did spend lots of money. And we had loads of fun.

That night was really a night to remember. We stayed a night at Surfer's Paradise, and we had a great dinner :) Gloria had this idea that we all dress up for the dinner! haha... and of course..... we did... Below, its me, Lorraine, Andrew, Gloria and Chui Lian.

Andrew, such a lovely guy, went around Surfers and got us some roses... awww.... so sweet. hehe... He was indeed the luckiest man that night, having the opportunity to wine and dine with 4 beautiful ladies! haha... even the waiter at the restaurant says so! We had our dinner at Cav's restaurant. Nothing really high class... coz we have tight budget too.. :P

Photo taken after that...

We stayed at Islander resort. And they have a really cool pool table.

Next morning we went around surfer's paradise, did some shopping again :D And we just relaxed by the beach... wow... totally refreshing.....

Hope we could do this again someday soon....
ok...I think I'll stop here for now... will continue my 'story' next time. ciao! ;)

RASH!

2004-09-28T04:28:00.000+10:00

Gosh! I've been through 2 weeks of cough and cold... I'm nearly healed... and now my body caught another disease!! RASH!!! It's this huge patch of red spots on my chest... and I don't even know where I got it from! It woke me up at 4am, made me go for a shower, made me put on some cream and powder and now it's keeping me awake. I just.... have to.... keep myself from... scratching it! urgh!!

I've planned to go shopping in Gold Coast later today with my friends. With this rash, how am I going to look good in anything?!

But I'm not really concerned about that now. Now, my mind is just thinking... resist that itch, resist that itch, resist that itch, resist that itch............................

Heart of a servant

2004-09-27T10:39:00.000+10:00

I am back to blog again! :) I've been away last 3 days for a trip to Bribie Island with the bunch of leaders from Daniel subdistrict of my church. Its such a privilege since I get to learn so much from the leaders that are so willing to serve the Lord. It wasn't packed with teachings, but its more of a relaxing trip with lots of free time to chit chat, play by the beach, meaningful discussions and lots of good food! (thanx to our great cook Gloria) Just staying with them for 3 days made me realize that I have so much to learn from them.... particularly their hearts in serving.

How many of us are willing to wake up early just to be in church at 7am? How many of us are willing to take time to prepare for teachings and discussions every week? How many of us are willing to organize caregroups every week so that we can all have a great time together? How many of us are willing to take time out for these things despite our busy life in uni or work? How many of us would give these sacrifices without silently complaining?

I see a passion for Christ in them. I see the love of Christ in them. I see their love for God's people in their hearts. And I really admire them.

On the 2nd night, we had a special activity lead by Beng, our subdistrict leader. He set an example to all of us that we are all here to serve and that we should have a heart like Jesus. Our unit leaders are suppose to wash our feet! Just like how Jesus washed His disciples' feet (John 13). One by one he washed our feet. We were reluctant to let him at first, but we know it had to be done. Tears started to roll down our cheeks. It reminded us of how Jesus is so willing to cleanse His people that He would wash their feet, the dirtiest part of their body. Imagine God coming down and wash your feet! And you ask, how could such highly person wash my feet? But unless it is done, we cannot be clean. And that was His task. The sacrifice that He had done for us, because He love us.

Once in a while I would silently complain when I do things for people. Once in a while I might find excuses to run away from tasks. I'm so afraid that people might take advantage of me, so much until I miss opportunities to help people sometimes. I don't want to be such a person anymore. I will continue to learn from Jesus and my leaders to be a good servant. A servant who is so willing to serve God's people. A servant who loves to do her tasks. A servant who doesn't complain.

A teary night with a great lesson learnt.

cough

2004-09-24T02:07:00.000+10:00

Oh man, many people are getting sick these days! As for our household, it started with Andrew, then my turn, and now Pooi Yian also caught it. It was really bad. You can hear us coughing and clearing our throats every morning. It even went to the point where Pooi Yian got headaches, dizziness and even vomitted!! Poor girl... Get some good rest. hmmm... probably its the weather. Its spring season now!!

You would probably imagine beautiful flowers blooming everywhere, sweet aroma in the gardens or something like that.... I wish it would be like that too, but I'm a city girl. Slim chances of having that in the middle of a city heh :P It'll be nice if I get a chance to go down to Toowoomba for their flower festival! Talk about chances, its mid semester break next week! woohoo! Most probably we might wanna go down there if we don't have too much work in hand. hmm... we'll see about that.

Anyway I just got to know from valz that Ching Choo had just realized that she fractured her ankle! Boy, that sounds bad. Especially when its a month before her wedding! :( Let's really pray to God that her ankle will heal asap and everything will go well. Take care, girl! *cough* urgh this cough is really getting to me... If you have time, please do pray for us okay..... pray that Sharon won't catch the disease as well! Let her body be strong as ever... to take care of us ma hehe... She's the only one in the house who didn't catch the germs :) Anyway I'd better rest now... see yous!

Stay in touch

2004-09-20T16:57:00.000+10:00

The weather is getting really weird around here. Its raining when the sun is still shining brightly. A nice day to stay at home, relax and enjoy the breeze. I had a slow start on my day today. Mainly because I don't have classes today, no meetings to go to, no one to meet up with... All my housemates have gone out for their own stuff... and I'm here all alone, lost in my own pool of thoughts.

The memory of my phone call last night to a friend in KL kept playing in my mind. He is leaving to UK for his studies tonight. He is a good friend and we do exchange phone calls sometimes just to chat and gossip. Last night we chatted about his preparation to UK, his farewell parties with his friends, things he would do once he reach UK.... Suddenly I wonder what would happen to us? Will we lose contact due to the time difference? Would we be too busy to even try to keep in touch? It has happened before, would it happen again?

I have close friends far away from me. Although we may continue to keep in touch with each other, constantly email or make phone calls back in the 1st few months, but I cannot deny the communication between us tends to cease as time goes by. Its not that I don't care anymore, but sometimes its the way life is. We may have new friends, new interests, new things to occupy our time. But this friendship is always kept in my heart. And hopefully when we meet again soon, we'll relive our happy times again.

Now I just want to wish my friend, Jason all the best in his overseas study experience. Not to play around too much and to get good results enough to make his parents proud. And not forgetting... stay in touch.....

Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.

2004-09-17T12:01:00.000+10:00

Have you ever felt lost in your life? Didn't know where to go, what decision to make, which road to take? You don't know where to go for an answer. Different people gives you different opinions. And all these facts seems to be like a puzzle you could not solve. In the end, you don't know what you want for yourself anymore.... It like a dilemma when people ask you what your decision is, you really don't know how to answer them. They know they can't help you make the decision. You know they can't help you make the decision. And all of a sudden, you felt so lost.

I wish so much that I would not need to face this dilemma. Sometimes I let people make decisions for me. But is that the best way to do it? So many people tell me ways to do it: make a table of pros and cons, set your priorities, check whether you have any obligations. But sometimes the route that it leads to, is not really what we want it to be. But then again, which route did you want it to be? I just wish I could turn the table around and have all the pros on the lists. But we can never have everything, can we? I cannot be the greedy scumbag who get everything I want, can I?

Why does God gives me hard decisions to make all the time? To train up my analytical mind? It sure isn't easy. Or perhaps He is urging me to fully rely on Him. Its not something easy to do either, when I feel that I'm not in control of my life.

I like the way God answered 'me' in my previous post when He said 'If you look outside you will not know where you are heading. Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.' Perhaps what I should do is to seek answers from inside..... to seek God further. Then maybe He'll provide some insights.....

A conversation with God

2004-09-17T00:15:00.000+10:00

This morning I came across this email message which is pretty meaningful. Its a conversation with God. Have a read and ponder upon the answers. I kind of modified it a little coz it was too long.... hopefully it will speak into your hearts.....

Me: Why do good people always suffer?

God : Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don't suffer. With that experience their life become better not bitter.

Me: You mean to say such experience is useful?

God : Yes. In every terms, Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterward.

Me: But still, why should we go through such tests? Why cant we be free from problems?

God : Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering BeneficialLessons (to) Enhance Mental Strength. Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems.

Me: Frankly in the midst of so many problems, we don't know where we are heading....

God : If you look outside you will not know where you are heading. Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.

Me: Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here. I cant get the answer.

God : Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not a process of discovery but a process of creation.

God : Well. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve not a problem to resolve. Trust me. Life is wonderful if you know how to live.

A clumsy girl

2004-09-16T00:17:00.000+10:00

Yeah I'm a clumsy girl. And I have well 'demonstrated' it yesterday.

Yesterday morning, I was kind of in a rush... Its already 10am, I had to be in uni at 10.30am, and I needed to send a letter to my friend urgently! So I quickly got my stuff and rushed out the door and down the stairs.... in the next minute, there I was, kneeling at the bottom of the stairs. I missed a step, lost my balance, sprained my ankle and badly bruised my knees. OUCH!!! Have you ever sprained your ankle before?? Its definitely no joke ok! I was screaming my lungs out when Andrew helped rub my ankle. Boy, that was fun (for him; not for me). It reminded me the time when Edna sprained her ankle during secondary school and I had to rub her ankle for her.... (I was in St. John Ambulance). It was pretty bad, her ankle went swollen at the spot, went to see doctor, and took around 1 week to recover! scary.....

So I went around limping these 2 days. Its still swollen, but its recovering. I really wanna give thanx to all those who have showed their concern for me, helped rub my ankle, prayed for me or became my 'tongkat' hehe. You know who you are, I just really appreciate you for being there. Thank you! And I'm looking forward to run and jump again tomoro! ;)

A cool night to reflect on my day...

2004-09-13T01:38:00.000+10:00

Its a calm night tonight. Really soothing to just sit here and stare at the starry sky, feeling the cool breeze around me and listening to the stillness of the night. Just that I didn't quite have the perfect balcony to sit in... with all our laundry everywhere... it didn't quite give me any space to sit. I'll just sit inside since its cold outside anyway.

Today was a busy day for me in church... and a REALLY tiring one. I woke up at 6am and reached church at 7.45am. Why so early, you ask? We're celebrating our 11th church anniversary today! woohoo! And we had to be there to rehearse for our dance. :P Yeah, me, Sharon, Lorraine and a few others joined the closing ceremony dance. We have been practicing for it for more than a month now. Today we're finally performing it on stage! The song is Shackles(Praise Him) by I-don't-know-who.... its a really funky fast song and the dance steps are no joke man... we all had to really put much of our efforts in just remembering the dance steps.... and well, it turned out pretty cool. It pretty much drained out the last bit of my energy... and gave me a good time struggling to keep awake after that. Sorry to the leaders who were teaching today...

I reached home at 5pm and I went flat on the bed for 3 hours. That's why I'm pretty much awake now hehe... So now, should I surf around the Internet? Do my work? or a game? hmmm.......

Photoes...

2004-09-11T01:55:00.000+10:00

Here are some photoes that I've promised. Photoes from the survivor night! Enjoy....
Opening dance with Andrew (don't you agree that he's the skinny white chicken?), Moses and Martin. There are a few girls dancing on stage as well... pretty cool

A duet by John Pak and Lorraine Lie( my shephard!) woohoo I'm so proud of her :)

Haha... this is a shot of the make up competition I mentioned earlier.

The Islander dance done by Tasha.

Daniel 2 group photo! :)

No more spoon feeding

2004-09-10T02:45:00.000+10:00

Today I had quite an interesting chat with a friend. He read my depressed post 2 days ago and came to rescue with some advice! haha... sort of... :) I don't remember the exact lines of the conversation :p Unlike my roommate, Sharon, who can remember every single bit! Wait till she tells you about her conversation with her other friend! haha... Impressive... Anyway back to the topic, I very much agreed with what he said.... The education system here in Australia is really very different from the one back home.

In all my study life, kindergarten, primary school, secondary school and college, I've always been spoon fed with information. Everything I needed to know for the exams are taught in classes, with exercises to supervise my progress, and small classes for better concentrated teaching. Sad to say so, things aren't like that anymore. This never happens in uni. Welcome to the uni world! Welcome to the real world! No more spoon feeding, no more easy life.... I once thought uni life was easy since I've only had 3 days of class in a week. I guess I thought wrong!!

No.1: Since no one is there to make sure you go to classes.... everything was about self motivation, self discipline. They don't send warning letters to your parents for your absence in class :D
No.2: We need to do extensive readings every week to understand the lectures. Unless you have a great mind to understand 15 pages of slides which are discussed in several chapters in the textbook! And although you only have 3 hours on that subject in a week, they made sure you had materials to read on for the rest of the time.
No.3: We need to learn the facts in a subject and apply it to the real world problem. And I wonder... when did we ever had to apply add maths to the real world??

I know I can do better than my current achievement.... just that now I'll have to feed myself. I will surely work on it. My 1st ingredient would be self discipline. :p

yeay! I'm happy again!

2004-09-08T23:58:00.001+10:00

haha! It was my 1st time playing keyboard in caregroup today! And I played pretty well! hehe... umm... at least they told me I played well lar. I really wanna thank God for this opportunity. I was really really nervous that time. I only practiced once at home and I forgot to bring my own scores to caregroup. (I had all my notes on the scores.) But everything went well... I didn't have nervous breakdown :p And lucky thing they had another guitarist playing with me, so when I play the wrong keys, my noise gets covered up a bit hehe.

It was really a good experience. At the start I played everything according to how my shephard taught me. Then slowly I followed the flow and I added my little twists here and there... and all fell right into place. It was really God's grace moving there :) I just love Him! muacks! :p And I'm really happy again despite my 'PMS' mood yesterday. Praise God!

I need to thank someone as well... (he's been bugging me to add his name in this blog :p) He's Andrew Chan (the skinny white chicken) ... heheh... Yeah he really helped me through the practice and showed me how to play smoothly... although he was constantly praising his chicken rice instead of the music I played! What an encouragement right?! sigh... anyways, thank God for him as well :)

What's the matter with ME??

2004-09-07T23:48:00.000+10:00

Last time I use to excel in my studies... in secondary school I'm in one of the better classes and my grades are top 10 in my class. I scored straight As for my PMR and 6As in my SPM. In diploma, I had 5 distinctions and an overall credit.... yeah enough of my bragging... not that I have anything to brag about now.

Ever since I came to Australia, there seems to be a major downturn in my studies.... and in my 1st semester I flunked my 1st subject. How COOL can that be!? I don't understand what's happening to me! Are the subjects a lot tougher? Well, there never were any easy subjects in any part of my life... So what's wrong with me??! Today I got my mid semester results. And yeah, you guessed it right. I got a bad result. I totally flunked it (50% passing mark). And mixing around hard core students who got good results certainly didn't get my mood any better. Hmm... but its good mixing with them, at least I have someone to help me through the subjects (and I have to say something good about that oso coz probably they might read this! :p) But what's the matter with me? Why couldn't I score as much as I use to? Why don't I have the motivation anymore? Where did all my intelligence go? Maybe I'm not that intelligent after all.....

I don't wanna disappoint my mom, I didn't tell her about my flunking results and assured her that I'm doing just fine. Now, I'll just have to do my best and hope my GPA will inch a little higher... like as if it can do much difference. Friends, don't worry about me, I'll be fine. If you see me all happy, just be happy with me, you know I never like to sulk in front of people... so don't make me! Let me be the happy go lucky girl k?

self discipline

2004-09-06T02:12:00.000+10:00

My 1st question is.... is the tag board server having some problem or is there just something wrong with mine? I haven't been able to tag anything since 2 days ago and whenever I refresh my page, an invitation to join some war game pops up. What's happening? Could someone enlighten me?

haar.. its been 3 days since my last post. Haven't been posting coz I had my mid semester exam yesterday. Yeah, self discipline caught me and I had to obey :P It went alright. I've done my best and I believe that God will do the rest, amen! ;) hmm... it was another busy sunday today. Went for church sunday service, had lunch together, members meeting.... then we went for a sunday market at this place called SouthBank. Its a really nice flee market by the river which is held every year for Riverfest celebration. We didn't spend much time shopping there though since it started raining.

After that, we went for a movie called Suddenly 30. A pretty nice movie that talks about this 13 year old girl wanting so much to be cool and popular, she wished she could be 30, and be like someone in the magazines. Her wish came true and she went on to discover about herself, and found that she became popular, and also she became quite a mean person. The stories goes on with how she tries to change back her life and stuff like that lar.... I could really remember when I was 14... I wish I was 17... and when i was 17, I wish I was 21. The future sometimes looks so much more attractive because I'll have more freedom, would be more independent and more attractive haha! But then I realize that you can only achieve that by building up your character through time, learning from mistakes in life and perhaps through some extra facial mask sessions. Whatever we achieve in the future depends on how we live our lives now. So I guess if I wanna be successful next time, I'll have to start now, put more effort in studies, exercise more, drink more water, sleep earlier and wake up earlier...... that all depends whether my self discipline could catch up with me hehe... good luck to my future!

What the..?!

2004-09-02T17:14:00.000+10:00

I had a pretty normal day yesterday... woke up, a guy from telephone company came to fix a second line for us, went to uni, went for caregroup.... then I came home, headed for the computer, clicked on the icon to dial up to the internet....... then it prompted : No dial tone. I thought well, perhaps pooi yian was using the phone. So I went to do my other stuff, took my bath, yada yada yada. Then I tried going online again... still no dial tone! So i went and check on her room, her lights were off! strange.... Andrew wasn't using the phone line either! hmm let me check on the phone... NO dial tone!!! Suddenly it dawn on me that the telephone company guy could have disconnected my line!! What the! Somewhat frustrated, I sat in front of the computer organizing my song files silently hoping some miracle would happen and I'll get my phone line back. However the clouds did not part and no big hand came to reconnect my line again. Being a stubborn ass, I refused to sleep although I was pretty tired. I've always stayed up late every night anyway! And because of that, now I have to struggle through the day feeling lethargic all over... grr.... I'm gonna complain to the company! Perhaps I might even earn myself some free phone calls! :p

And yeah, that's why this post is written in the evening in uni. Anyways I have to go to class soon. I hope I won't fall asleep there...

Merdeka!

2004-08-31T01:19:00.000+10:00

Negaraku tanah tumpahnya darahku
Rakyat hidup bersatu dan maju
Rahmat bahagia tuhan kurniakan
Raja kita selamat bertakhta
Rahmat bahagia tuhan kurniakan
Raja kita selamat bertakhta

I wonder how is national day celebration back home.... With full-on fireworks? Lots of parties going on? hmm..... I'm not such a patriotic citizen... but at this time of the night, suddenly I miss home quite a lot. I miss the view from my living room window... I miss the rainy seasons... I miss the smell of rain... I miss Baby(my cat)...I miss playing with Baby... I miss mom's cooking... I miss hanging around the kitchen looking for junk... I miss watching wah lai toi with mom while sharing that packet of junk... I miss mom!

I miss mamak... I miss Mid Valley... I miss shopping with mom where she'll buy me lots of stuff :p I miss nasi lemak... I miss asam laksa... I miss tomyam... I miss hokkien noodle with lots of crunchy chu yao cha... I miss cheese naan with condensed milk (ngao lin)... I miss my friends... I miss chatting with friends in mamak with nothing to worry about... I miss chatting on the phone till early mornings... I miss HOME!!

I'm not complaining about what I have here and what I enjoy here. But I'm never gonna have both heh... Human are always greedy.