Lonely

I am in need of a best friend.

I feel that I don't have anyone I could share my life with...

well, leave out my bf for now.

But doesn't everyone have some close girlfriends?.... I loved having someone that I could chit chat with, share every thought with and laugh about everything. Go shopping with, and say out whatever that's on our minds.

But it seems that I can't click with anyone around me anymore. My best friends moved far away from me and everyone else seem so far away. People who were once close seems different now, too, busy with their own lives. And I'm lost.

Have I been so out of touch? Have I been so selfish about my personal time and not spend enough time? Or am I becoming easily irritated? Did I become more and more picky on friends? Or am I becoming weird? Is there something wrong with me?

Sometimes, even though I try to fit in, I still feel that I'm being left out. I feel that maybe they didn't like me. Maybe I'm just an outsider. Maybe I'm not welcomed.

Someone once told me, they felt that I'm quite restricted. Maybe that could be the reason. Maybe I pushed them away. Maybe I've built up an invisible wall around me that no one could come close. A wall that I myself didn't notice. A wall that has caused me my loneliness....

Maybe I just need to relax. Maybe I just need to loosen up...

And hopefully soon, I can have my best friends back...