Lonely
I am in need of a best friend.
I feel that I don't have anyone I could share my life with...
well, leave out my bf for now.
But doesn't everyone have some close girlfriends?.... I loved having someone that I could chit chat with, share every thought with and laugh about everything. Go shopping with, and say out whatever that's on our minds.
But it seems that I can't click with anyone around me anymore. My best friends moved far away from me and everyone else seem so far away. People who were once close seems different now, too, busy with their own lives. And I'm lost.
Have I been so out of touch? Have I been so selfish about my personal time and not spend enough time? Or am I becoming easily irritated? Did I become more and more picky on friends? Or am I becoming weird? Is there something wrong with me?
Sometimes, even though I try to fit in, I still feel that I'm being left out. I feel that maybe they didn't like me. Maybe I'm just an outsider. Maybe I'm not welcomed.
Someone once told me, they felt that I'm quite restricted. Maybe that could be the reason. Maybe I pushed them away. Maybe I've built up an invisible wall around me that no one could come close. A wall that I myself didn't notice. A wall that has caused me my loneliness....
Maybe I just need to relax. Maybe I just need to loosen up...
And hopefully soon, I can have my best friends back...
posted by Amanda at 3:51 PM
9 Comments:
me! find me!
dun forget about me ~
Do you sometimes wonder, the world we feel around us is the mirror of ourselves?
Cherish what you have, for not everyone has a family, job or someone to love.
hhaha.. hey man yee.. how have you been? Do you still go to California Fitness?
Hey there anonymous, couldn't agree with you more...
Mama Sun,
*Hugs* Seems like nearly everyone our age is going thru the same phase as you (me included). The feelin of "lost", "who-are-our-friends" phase.
Perhaps it's a stage in life whereby, once we pass thru this, we reach another phase of our lives, i.e. signs of maturity? Those questioning of we are, the people we can truly count on back then and now...
But, you have my support always - hugs hugs. =)
who's the bF! :P hehehe
i m sure you have all you can have in life.
smile.
rational thinker: You sound like you're the BF.
If Sun had all she needed, she wouldn't be blogging.
I'm not the same Anonymous who commented under Work Stress.
Thanks Mama Fern! *hugs*
Thanks Rational Thinker :) Oh gosh, what'll happen if my bf reads this! :P
I know I may be more lucky than many other people. I may have more than what some people may have. But don't you feel that people can never be satisfied? We tend to focus on what we're missing. Then we work towards it to find a way to fulfill it. But sometimes it seems impossible to fill that hole. I wish I could just think about the things I have and be happy and forget about the rest. I wonder if I'll ever reach the I-have-everything-and-I'm-contented stage... I guess for now, I'll have to be positive and smile :)
Of course I'm not always like this. This is more like a passing thought. Next day something exciting happens and I put this all behind me. One day I may look back and laugh about how silly I once was.
Anonymous, you called me Sun. Please identify yourself.
"Sometimes, even though I try to fit in, I still feel that I'm being left out"..
there are times when you really want to blend in with them but, then after one or two lines of conversation you feel that there is somehow a gap.. and you just feel something not right and you'll just lost interest or you just lost words to carry on with the conversation..
not sure if you're facing this but there are times when I do.. :(
and in the end, I'll end up sitting down there and just listening to their conversation and thats all.. feeling cast away..
~cry bitterly~
We have all done silly things in our lives and will continue to do so as human beings. No one is perfect, we all have defects for good reason. Some more than others.
You might know me, but it's best to leave the past behind. I simply want to remind some of us not to take things for granted.
~cry bitterly~ I know exactly how you feel. I experience that on many occasionals. We just have to keep searching for the right group of people, who are like ourselves. And if there aren't any around, be glad that you are unique.
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